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BOTD 1/10/16 "Too Soon" A DMK Production

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1 BOTD 1/10/16 "Too Soon" A DMK Production on Sat Jan 09, 2016 3:07 pm

David M. Katz

A DMK Production

Your son, Rhys, just turned thirteen.  Upon becoming a teen, Rhys talked with you about his punishments.  Rhys said he felt he was now too old for spankings.  That was about a month ago.

This past weekend, Rhys lied about his whereabouts and was almost an hour late past his curfew.  Remembering your conversation with your son, you grounded Rhys for a week and explained this meant he was to stay in the house except for school and that he was to have no friends over and his use of his electronics was also restricted. You pronounced sentence Sunday afternoon.  

Rhys has followed his restrictions with no issues.  He does seem to miss his electronic gadgets but he has been able to interact with his friends at school.  On Wednesday you all get up to a major snowfall and school is called off.  You catch Rhys headed outside to play in the snow and remind him he is grounded.  Rhys' response is that snow is rare and it is not fair for him to not get to play in it.  Rhys asks what if there is no more snow this winter.  You tell Rhys that his actions have consequences and that it is too soon in to his grounding for you to consider an "early release."  Rhys sulks off to his room.  You work from home and settle in to your home office.  Rhys decides to sneak out.

A bit later Rhys throws some snowballs at your office window to get your attention.  You look out and see:

RHYS - 13
[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]
(Picture from Leti and Jkher)

How do you handle this?  Rhys is obviously sending you a message.

Was it too soon to take spankings off of the table?

Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.

2 Re: BOTD 1/10/16 "Too Soon" A DMK Production on Sat Jan 09, 2016 4:09 pm

Y Lee Coyote

Rhys should have sent this link -- to sent his message.

The boy is entitled to a one day parole for a special event.  It must be special for school have been closed.  Our long term relationship is at stake and that far more important.  If he wants to discuss the previous discussion about too old to spank that also reasonable.  Adults mess up all the time and renegotiate so kid should be able to.


P.S.  I should sneak out and attack him with snowballs.

3 Re: BOTD 1/10/16 "Too Soon" A DMK Production on Sat Jan 09, 2016 9:46 pm

David M. Katz

I mostly agree with YLC particularly to the point that I should have entertained more of a discussion with Rhys.

It appears this is a special situation so we should have been able to work something out. Maybe a spanking adjusted for time served or adding time to the term would have worked.

But, Rhys has now put me in a position to need to respond so I think I will give the options now. If my son had not intended for me to give a response then he would not have tried to get my attention nor spent the time painting the sign. Rhys and I can then spend some time together playing in the snow.

(Hmmm . . . That "Too Soon" sign might make a good improvised paddle. Twisted Evil )

Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.

4 Re: BOTD 1/10/16 "Too Soon" A DMK Production on Sat Jan 09, 2016 11:27 pm


Editor Extraordinaire
I agree with Y, and I will add something further: when a punishment is due, it doesn't have to be an all or nothing choice. The original terms of the grounding seem to me excessive for the misbehavior, unless lying about his whereabouts meant he was involved in something illegal. I would either have made the conditions of the grounding/restrictions less onerous or have shortened the time period (which I'm guessing was a week). After all, teenagers experience time differently than adults; a week is a long time when you're thirteen. Furthermore, I need to have options in reserve for more serious issues. It's a bit like those stories in which a boy gets six of the best for not having his socks pulled up. What do you then do for something serious, like not wearing his cap? Razz


5 Re: BOTD 1/10/16 "Too Soon" A DMK Production on Sun Jan 10, 2016 2:35 am


If snow is rare, especially this much of it, then I should have agreed to let him enjoy himself today in exchange for a day added at the end. But, he has breached the terms although to be fair he has made no attempt to hide that. So when he comes in I'll tell him he has another 2 days added to his grounding, or if he'd prefer I can help him get warm now with a spanking.......... Evil or Very Mad

At least he has changed out of his shorts which will keep the SO Very Happy

6 Re: BOTD 1/10/16 "Too Soon" A DMK Production on Sun Jan 10, 2016 3:31 am


ivor wrote:At least he has changed out of his shorts which will keep the SO Very Happy

I wondered if anyone was going to say that. Good catch, Ivor!

I have to admit that I'm generally with the rest of the pack. Being a Texas boy, and knowing how rare a snowfall like that is, I would have considered it a special occasion. On the other hand, I also agree that groundings aren't meant to be fun, nor are they supposed to be at the whim and impulse of the groundee. On the third hand, Rhys never actually asked to be grounded.

Since Rhys was mature enough to talk with me, I should have sat down and talked with him about what alternatives we had, and what they entailed. I also should have thought about possible exceptions.

In this case, I think I'm going to go out and play with him for a while, or tell him to go catch up with his friends. Later, after he's come back inside, warmed up, we'll spend a little time together, and I'll remind him that he not only broke his grounding but disobeyed me, and I'll let him suggest how we should handle that. As long as he doesn't say 'ignore it and move on', I'll probably take his suggestion - whether it's another session over my lap, or just an extra day or two added to the grounding.

"In the end, it's just a story. But if you ask me, it's all true."

7 Re: BOTD 1/10/16 "Too Soon" A DMK Production on Sun Jan 10, 2016 4:11 am


What the Hell!! ??

Rhys shown some maturity and co-operated well with his grounding so far.  Circumstances have changed and its at least arguable that this is school time anyway when his grounding doesn't apply.

I'm going to be a proper father and go out for a snowball fight with him.  Afterwards we can have a hot drink together as we discuss the discipline situation and how, if he can show he is growing up and becoming more responsible, I can be more flexible with his restrictions.

8 Re: BOTD 1/10/16 "Too Soon" A DMK Production on Sun Jan 10, 2016 6:43 am


This might be an exception but in general I would want there to be something else if a kid CANT or WONT abide by a restriction. Still he will stay arounfd his home and wont be playing with his friends. If he wishes to revivist the topic of spanking I am listening

9 Re: BOTD 1/10/16 "Too Soon" A DMK Production on Sun Jan 10, 2016 8:03 am


Here, a snowfall is no big deal and it's fairly obvious that schools in Southern Ontario would still be open after a snowfall of this nature, although the morning school bus run might have been cancelled for liability reasons...

He's deliberately disobeyed me over a minor, everyday occurrence  - and I'm not happy about it...

I can't spank him in Canada, but he's going to be punished...


PS... after looking at the picture again, it's clear that school buses would have been running normally... there's barely 5 centimetres of snow and all...

10 Re: BOTD 1/10/16 "Too Soon" A DMK Production on Sun Jan 10, 2016 12:16 pm


I'm with jack

....I won't be letting him out to play with friends but I can't see the harm in letting him play in our own back yard...

Hugs kal

11 Re: BOTD 1/10/16 "Too Soon" A DMK Production on Sun Jan 10, 2016 5:37 pm


I must confess that I laughed a bit at the sign (Dave, you're right-it would make for a good paddle).  As everyone here knows, I don't like/believe in grounding so whatever the offense was, it would have been 'spanked off' and he would be free to play in the (apparently) rare significant snowfall.

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