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11 Jan 2016 - Running Late

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1 11 Jan 2016 - Running Late on Sun Jan 10, 2016 7:06 pm


This is your step-son, Devon. He's 9.

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You just recently became Devon's step-parent, but it was decided you'd be handling his discipline, along with that of your own children. Devon is aware of that, and he knows how you deal with it, but he's not had occasion to actually experience anything yet.

Devon has been a bit of a handful since the marriage. He's basically a really smart, nice kid, but he's used to being Lord of the Manor, and it seems like maybe he resents the recent intrusions into his home.

This morning, he's been a holy terror.

Finally, after several incidents, and a couple of warnings, he ignores you when you tell him to put his breakfast dishes in the sink. You tell him that he's used up every chance he has, so he'd better straighten up and mind, if he's not ready for his first spanking.

"You can't spank me," he tells you. "The bus is almost here, and that's make me late for school."

With that, he grabs his book bag and heads towards the door - leaving his dirty dishes on the table.

Will he miss the bus?

"In the end, it's just a story. But if you ask me, it's all true."

2 Re: 11 Jan 2016 - Running Late on Sun Jan 10, 2016 7:19 pm


Been there, done that with both myself and Jon.  Y'all know what the outcome was for both: a VERY sore rear end affraid, though more for me than for him.  Regarding the 'Lord of the Manor' aspect, that applied to both David and myself and was more than a bit difficult to overcome as we were BOTH told we were to be the "man of the house" from henceforth.

If this is my step child, I'm going to gently explain to him what MY policy regarding discipline is much before this instance, following that, if he misses the bus for this, tough turkey; I'll drive him to class with a sore rump after I've worn him out.

3 Re: 11 Jan 2016 - Running Late on Sun Jan 10, 2016 8:03 pm


Editor Extraordinaire
What dangerously mixed but well meaning signals we send to kids at times. The biological parent (or original adoptive parent before my advent) should never have let a child feel he has the role of 'lord of the manor' or 'man of the house' or anything similar. My role as a step parent should not threaten Devon's place within his own family. I think I'll tell my spouse that the relationship between Devon and me is not yet at a point where we both are comfortable with my assuming the discipline. My spouse will have to step in and handle that responsibility until Devon accepts me as a parent, rather than feels me to be a threat. I'm not about to get into a territorial pissing contest with a 9 year old -- winning it would bring me no satisfaction and could easily destroy any chance of a positive relationship with him.


4 Re: 11 Jan 2016 - Running Late on Mon Jan 11, 2016 4:27 am


I think the time has come to grab him before he get out of the door and at the very least apply a number of good firm swats to his rear so he gets to know I am serious even if this will not be a 'proper' spanking.

While I take Kat's point it is going to be very difficult if we have two different systems of discipline operating in the same house.

5 Re: 11 Jan 2016 - Running Late on Mon Jan 11, 2016 5:42 am


VERY interesting takes in the first two answers.

Just for the record, I meant 'Lord of the Manor' as a way of saying he was rather spoiled (things revolve around him or work at his whim), not that he's been told he's man of the house. I can certainly see how the phrase would bring that to mind (now that others have taken it that way), and it does rather change the dynamics of the situation a bit.

"In the end, it's just a story. But if you ask me, it's all true."

6 Re: 11 Jan 2016 - Running Late on Mon Jan 11, 2016 7:36 am

Pi Beta

"We'll see about that when you get home from school!"

I'll have time to calm down and talk things over with my other half while he'll have tiome to reflect on his behaviour and will also have had sufficient time to mull over what he might be facing when he gets home.

With luck, we'll all be in a more reasonable mood when that time comes and can have a sensiblet discussion beforeany punishment is handed out. My inclination would be to give him a choice between a spanking and some alternative "deprivation type" punishment so it becomes his choice rather than me imposing my choice on him before we've really managed to build up our relationship.

7 Re: 11 Jan 2016 - Running Late on Mon Jan 11, 2016 9:09 am


A couple of stingy swats on the way out the door and the promise of a " we will talk later."

At that point I will be giving him a stern verbal chastisement about his attitude and how things have to change for ALL our sakes while at the same time showing him that I do understand there is some upheaval which is why he hasn't been in serious trouble before. Whether that leads to up to a real spanking rather depends on Devon's attitude, Even as the single son of a single Mom as things were, that is no excuse for raising a spoilt brat and "real men of the house do have to pull their weight."

8 Re: 11 Jan 2016 - Running Late on Mon Jan 11, 2016 11:26 am


Devon's mother has told him that I am now in charge of his discipline and he is subject to the same rules as my own children.  This gives me a secondary problem in that I do not want to alienate my own kids towards him (and me) by putting him on a longer rope than them.

It's still early days but seems to me that Devon, being the bright kid that he is, is measuring the length of the rope.

He can go to school without any implied threat that may make him reluctant to return home; but when he returns he will find the dirty pots where he left them.  Then, with his mother present, I will tell him to not only put them in the sink but to wash and dry them and put them away.

If he does so without dissent we will discuss the morning event before I introduce him to a mild spanking for his behaviour then.  A refusal will set him up for a real bum roasting.

Then he'll do it.   .......or else.

9 Re: 11 Jan 2016 - Running Late on Mon Jan 11, 2016 12:53 pm


I'm with MM on this.......

Hugs kal

10 Re: 11 Jan 2016 - Running Late on Mon Jan 11, 2016 7:13 pm


I'm with MM as well.

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