An Anonymous Production
You have two sons - Terrance, 18, and Gerald, 16.
Due to the cost of housing in the Greater Toronto Area, the two boys share a bedroom in your apartment. They're not overjoyed with this, but almost all of their friends are in the same situation and they make the best of it, although there is an occasional spat which requires your intervention.
Today, Gerry has the room to himself since Terry is on an overnight school field trip... he won't be back until next afternoon.
Accordingly, Gerry and his closest friend, Arnold, have disappeared into the bedroom... they say they are going to study biology together and you don't think there is any need to interfere.
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You are pretty sure that your younger son is gay and that the relationship between the two boys is not purely one of friendship, but since he has not brought the subject up you have not yet forced the issue. You have repeatedly tried to intimate that you would have no difficulty with his sexuality; the real problem is with Arnold's parents who belong to a particularly homophobic sect of evangelical Christianity.
Suddenly, you hear shouts and screams of disgust coming from the bedroom...
It seems that the boys decided to try anal intercourse for the first time, but without proper knowledge and preparation it has all gone horribly wrong: Arnold has had a large and messy accident all over both boys and the bed. Worse, it is the lower bunk - which is actually Terry's bed - and in their panic, they have managed spread the damage over a quite a wide area in the room. Another complication arises from the fact that their clothes, which were hastily piled on the floor, have been soiled as well.
It is quite evident from the horrified reactions of the two boys that they are absolutely not into scat...
Furthermore, under Canadian law, anal intercourse (both heterosexual and homosexual) is illegal between persons under the age of eighteen... if Arnold's parents find out about this peccadillo, there could actually be charges laid in the matter (depending on the attitude of the Crown Attorney for the area).
How do you deal with the various messes presented here?