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4 April 2016 - What's Your Job?

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1 4 April 2016 - What's Your Job? on Sun Apr 03, 2016 6:02 pm


You have a group of boys who are seniors in high school this year.  You're very close to all of them, and have permission to handle discipline for each of them.  With older boys like this, you sometimes use corporal punishment, sometimes ground, and sometimes give them a choice between the two.

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Blake, the young looking gentleman in the green shirt (forefront) is one of your boys and has been for years.  He's lived with you and stayed with you while his parents were out of town.  You've busted his butt many times, and he's thanked you for it, and cried on your shoulder at other times.

As far as you know, he wasn't supposed to spend the night with you this weekend, and he wasn't in your house when you went to bed last night.  When you woke up this morning, he was here, and very sick.  When you check on him, the smell on his shirt reveals exactly what he's sick with (beer).  

While you have allowed your boys (official and unofficial) to have beer, it's always been under controlled circumstances and supervision.  It was also made very clear that it wasn't allowed otherwise.

When you check the story, it turns out that he called one of your boys, Johnny, to come get him, when he realized he was too drunk to drive and couldn't find a ride.  However, your son violated rules by leaving that late without letting you know.

Is Blake in trouble for his drinking?  Will you handle it or turn it over to his parents?  Is Johnny in trouble for not waking you before he left?

"In the end, it's just a story. But if you ask me, it's all true."

2 Re: 4 April 2016 - What's Your Job? on Sun Apr 03, 2016 6:07 pm


Under no circumstances will I punish a boy for calling for a ride when he's too drunk to drive, and neither will I punish johnny, either. I will have a serious discussion with the boys, however, and make it plain that I do not approve of their behaviour...


3 Re: 4 April 2016 - What's Your Job? on Sun Apr 03, 2016 6:11 pm


Editor Extraordinaire
I'm in agreement with Stevie. I suppose I could involve Blake's parents, but the unintended consequence of doing that is to make Blake less likely to ask for a ride next time. Unless I have reason to believe this is a pattern of behavior, I'll keep quiet.


4 Re: 4 April 2016 - What's Your Job? on Sun Apr 03, 2016 6:20 pm


I would definitely NOT want to discourage Blake from calling for a ride if he was drunk, nor would I want to discourage Johnny from picking up his friend who is drunk to prevent him from driving drunk! And I can understand why Johnny would NOT want to tell me he was going, before he left. Preventing a friend from driving drunk is an emergency, so no punishment!


5 Re: 4 April 2016 - What's Your Job? on Sun Apr 03, 2016 7:38 pm


I agree with everyone else. Waking up with vomit on your shirt and a hangover is punishment enough, unless you're an alcoholic. If you are, a spanking won't help.

I'm going to commend Blake for having the sense to call for a ride, rather than trying to drive. And I'm going to commend Johnny for being a good friend. I'm going to assume he was trying to be nice by not disturbing me when he thought I was asleep, rather than trying to hide the activity. And then I'm going to tell them that next time, I need to be kept in that loop regardless of the time.

6 Re: 4 April 2016 - What's Your Job? on Mon Apr 04, 2016 3:03 am


I'll join the consensus.

7 Re: 4 April 2016 - What's Your Job? on Mon Apr 04, 2016 5:13 am

Pi Beta

Another one with the concensus - except that I'll ask (tell!) Johnnie that if there is a next time, I do expect (require) him to leave a note by the back door letting me know where and why he has gone - just in case of some other emergency.

8 Re: 4 April 2016 - What's Your Job? on Mon Apr 04, 2016 9:28 am


As far as Johnny was concerned. He did a good thing for his friend. I doubt the question of whether to wake me in such a situation hasn't risen before so we can decide about procedure for next time. In any case Johnny is old enough to drive so its not he was a small child on his own out there.
Now this young man. Good that he called for help rather than drive drunk.. I need to know circumstances as to how and on whether I call his folks or cover for him and a bit depends on whether he has done it before and whether he expects us to cover for him again especially if he is an underage drinker. I think a long chat is in order but he's out of jail this time. I wont lie to his folks if they ask though

9 Re: 4 April 2016 - What's Your Job? on Mon Apr 04, 2016 11:43 am


I'm in total agreement with Stevie for what he states but I do think I need a long chat with Blake about the drinking and that could lead to something......

As for my son it will depend on if he tries to hide it...
If it's hide it then a strong lecture but if he comes to me and let's me know what he did then it will just be a talk on outlining for the future and I might as well make that talk with all the older drivers as well since this came up

Hugs kal

10 Re: 4 April 2016 - What's Your Job? on Mon Apr 04, 2016 2:24 pm

David M. Katz

I will agree with Square.

Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.

11 Re: 4 April 2016 - What's Your Job? on Mon Apr 04, 2016 2:30 pm


Blake is currently living with the natural consequences of his over indulence; I'm not about to preach at them, that is unnecessary and may even be counter-productive.

I'll congratulate them both on the sensible mature way they handled the crisis but pointing out to Johnnie how worried I would have been if I'd woken to find him gone without leaving any message.

Blake still has to go home to explain his unexplained stopping out all night.pale

12 Re: 4 April 2016 - What's Your Job? on Mon Apr 04, 2016 2:48 pm


My biggest problem in this scenario is with Johnny's actions. He should have woke me and let me know what was happening - not just because I would have been worried if I'd woke and he was gone either. The simple fact is, if they'd been stopped on the way home for any reason, things would have gone much better with me driving, than with an 18-year old. That didn't happen, so I'm not going to beat him over the head with it, but I will definitely mention it, just in case of future issues.

As for Blake, we'll be having a discussion, but I will probably only give him whatever punishment he asks for, and I'm okay if he asks for none.

And no, this isn't really based on a real life event.

What inspired it was a couple of weeks ago. Blake was at a party, that was supposed to have parental supervision. It did, but the party had also spread outside and next door, and the parents weren't policing everything. There was some drinking going on. Blake wasn't indulging, but some tipsy idiot managed to spill most of a cup of beer on him, so he smelled like he did. Blake decided to come here, because he felt like I'd accept his word, where his mom would probably harrass him about it, before finally deciding he was telling the truth. He sent his parents a text that the party had 'been a bomb', so he was going to see what the twins were doing and sleep over. His dad texted me to double check. Blake got a shower, washed his close, and hung out for the evening, so everything worked out.

"In the end, it's just a story. But if you ask me, it's all true."

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