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1 May 2016 - The Thinker - A DMK Production

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1 1 May 2016 - The Thinker - A DMK Production on Sat Apr 30, 2016 5:10 pm

Jack


Admin
THE THINKER
A DMK Production

Even though he is fourteen, you find that spanking is still the most effective punishment for your son, Matt. Before you spank Matt you typically send him off to his room to "get ready." This gives you and Matt both time to think and cool off. You never leave Matt waiting long.

Matt has been having problems following his curfew lately and he was on final warning that a spanking would happen if there were more problems. Matt just came in almost an hour late with no call or excuse. You sent Matt to his room to get ready for a spanking. You go in about fifteen minutes later to take care of business and Matt is not in his room. You look around the house and find the back door is left open.

You head out to look for your son. You quickly find Matt at the local park at the end of your street.


Matt - 14
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You sit down next to Matt. After a few minutes of awkward silence Matt then turns to you and says, "Sorry, I just needed to think." Matt then blurts out, "I have thought about it and I don't want a spanking."

How do you sort all of this out?


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"In the end, it's just a story. But if you ask me, it's all true."
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AFinch


Sherrif
"You should have thought about that before. We've talked about it, you were on final warning, and you just waltzed in an hour late. And then left without permission or even telling anyone so I could come find you here in the park. We can talk about alternative punishments for the future, but right now you need to come home and face the music."

Y Lee Coyote


Cowboy
It is discussion time!  "Tell me about it."  And we not going to get very far until he explains why he does not want a spanking.  (I don't want to be spanking him either.)

Is it because spanking for little kids and he has outgrown that?  Then it is time to discuss what are appropriate punishments.

Is it because he does not want to be punished at all?  Well that could be he does understand why these rules so we need to work things out.

It is probably time for a long and full discussion of his rules and why so that hey are not just arbitrary decrees from above.  We have to work out rules that are age and maturity appropriate.

After that all taken care of, we can consider his past crimes.

.

http://www.asstr.org/~YLeeCoyote/

ivor


Marshall
I really can't add anything to Kier's reply other than the thought that if he doesn't agree to come back and face the music, can I actually force him to do so?

http://www.malespank.net/listAuthor.php?author=Ivor+slipper

MemoryMan


Sherrif
I'm thinking too.

Matt is fourteen now. Am I being too overbearing and prescriptive? Is curfew the only real issue with him at present? Is it time downgrade some strict rules such as curfews and thus encourage a new era of consideration and responsibility?

Its time to talk. Matt's attitude, as described in the scenario, suggests that this could be a productive discussion.

http://www.malespank.net/listAuthor.php?author=MemoryMan

Kat


Editor Extraordinaire
I'm with Y and MM on this. Of course, Matt doesn't want a spanking unless he's a spanko, but I have to assume his words convey more than the obvious, plain meaning. At his age, I require his cooperation, so we need to have this discussion. I won't use physical force, even if I'm bigger and stronger.

I do think that Kier's position has to be part of the discussion, though. Matt has to understand two things: 1) whatever his reason for not wanting a spanking, he has handled the situation badly by leaving his room; 2) if between him and me we agree I won't spank him, he will still have consequences for his curfew issues.

Kat

Jack


Admin
I lean more towards Kier's position - "And when you tell the nice police officer you don't want to be arrested, what do you think he'll do?"

The simple fact is that, rules exist, there are a lot of times we don't like them, but there are ways to deal with them, and violating them and begging not to suffer the consequences really isn't one of them.

On the other hand, Matt is only fourteen, and I'm his parent. While teaching him to follow rules and respect others is one of my jobs, helping him to understand how the world works is also one of them.

I have to take a second off from this to disagree with Memory Man, simply because I'm not the type of father to be overbearing and prescriptive. I my impose rules, but there are reasons for them, and I'm willing to explain those reasons if the boys are curious (and sometimes even when they're not). With my own curfew, the reason it exists is that we almost always serve dinner within 15 minutes of the same time, so being timely really is a matter that effects the entire family. However, that's what I'm bringing to the scenario, so it does effect how I see the answer.

I think my goal in this is going to be to make Matt understand that he screwed up, and that he needs to accept the consequences. However, I don't see any reason that I can't work with Matt on this some now (especially if 'spanking' is meant in a literal otk way, rather than generically). If he'd rather have the belt or a paddling, we can work that out, and we can definitely work out what happens in the future, but I think we need to deal with the present first.


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"In the end, it's just a story. But if you ask me, it's all true."
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kalico


Sherrif
Dittoing kier and jack..... We need to deal with now and then we can talk about later.....



Hugs kal

MemoryMan


Sherrif
Jack wrote:

I have to take a second off from this to disagree with Memory Man, simply because I'm not the type of father to be overbearing and prescriptive.

Oh dear.

This seems to be good example of the "I" factor complicating the scenario.

Leaving the role play aside for a moment I would have answered that I too am not the type of father to be overbearing and prescriptive, but that I am always prepared to question myself, my actions and motives; in addition to being prepared to both listen to and consider politely presented feedback.

To spank or not to spank?  There is ground to cover ahead of my final decision.

http://www.malespank.net/listAuthor.php?author=MemoryMan

squarecutter


Sherrif
And what do you propose I do about this then young man seems to me the natural response. I will see if he has a sensible response that fits this case. I will warn him that a grounding will be several days out of his life, being incommunicado with his friends and loss of electronic toys. The computer will only be on for homework. A spanking on the other hand will be over tonight. I think at 14 he is old enough for some input

I might make a thing about him being in the park rather than doing his work in his room but I do understand if he wanted to have more time than I usually give him

Jack


Admin
MemoryMan wrote:
Jack wrote:

I have to take a second off from this to disagree with Memory Man, simply because I'm not the type of father to be overbearing and prescriptive.

Oh dear.

This seems to be good example of the "I" factor complicating the scenario.

Leaving the role play aside for a moment I would have answered that I too am not the type of father to be overbearing and prescriptive, but that I am always prepared to question myself, my actions and motives; in addition to being prepared to both listen to and consider politely presented feedback.

To spank or not to spank?  There is ground to cover ahead of my final decision.


_________________
"In the end, it's just a story. But if you ask me, it's all true."
http://bransomtx.forumotion.net

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