Bransom, TX

a discussion place for our web site


You are not connected. Please login or register

2 May 2016 - Lame Excuse?

View previous topic View next topic Go down  Message [Page 1 of 1]

1 2 May 2016 - Lame Excuse? on Sun May 01, 2016 5:31 pm

Jack


Admin
It's the weekend, and your 15-year old son, Ethan, and his Bruce, really want to go to the Frightmare horror convention in the big town. It's a bit of a drive, and it's a bit of a problem. All your older kids are busy, and there's no way you can get away. On the other hand, Bruce is actually 16 and has his license. After long discussions, you allowed Bruce to drive one of your cars. You made sure he knew how to get to and from the convention, and you went over the rules with both of them.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

Despite the fact that the three of you sat down, went over the schedule, made sure they had plenty of time, then okayed everything with Bruce's mom, the boys were still over an hour late. When they didn't arrive on time, you called them, but neither of them answered, though they did call you back about twenty minutes later.

At first, they try to tell you you they got lost. Since you made sure the address for the convention was in both their phones, that story doesn't really fly. They finally admit they ignored their alarms so they'd have time to do a little more.

Normally, coming home more than thirty minutes late is an automatic spanking offense. Normally, you'd give someone over 16 the option of losing their keys instead, but Bruce doesn't have a car. For years now, you've dealt with Bruce the same way you have with your own kids.

What happens next?



_________________
"In the end, it's just a story. But if you ask me, it's all true."
http://bransomtx.forumotion.net

2 Re: 2 May 2016 - Lame Excuse? on Sun May 01, 2016 5:39 pm

David M. Katz


Marshall
This brings up another question: Which paddle to use?


_________________
Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.
http://www.malespank.net/listAuthor.php?author=David+M.+Katz

3 Re: 2 May 2016 - Lame Excuse? on Sun May 01, 2016 6:52 pm

AFinch


Sherrif
I'm not sure I'm going to paddle either of them, though I could certainly justify it.

I think I'm going to point out that they were trusted to behave as young adults. They didn't--they behaved like little kids, and then lied about it. I'm going to point out that with great trust comes great responsibility--they've violated my trust, and shirked all responsibility. I'm going to tell them that I hope they REALLY enjoyed the convention, because it's going to be a very long time before I trust them to do something similar again.

4 Re: 2 May 2016 - Lame Excuse? on Sun May 01, 2016 7:20 pm

Iconoclast


Trailboss
In fact the cerfew was unreasonable given what they were doing. They should have planned on leaving at the end of the con, or con events of the day, and stopped to eat before getting on the road. (so any traffic might clear) Once they were clear of heavy traffic Ethan, who was not driving, should have called with an ETA.

Setting an arbetrary deadline for boys driving is dangerous as they might speed to make it home on time.

The main thing is they got home safely, so no punnishment.

Iconoclast

5 Re: 2 May 2016 - Lame Excuse? on Mon May 02, 2016 2:54 am

ivor


Marshall
I tend to agree with Kier, but there is a potential complication.

Since Bruce isn't my boy will such a withdrawal of trust have any, or as much effect on him, as on Ethan? It could probably be argued that in this scenario Ethan is the less culpable so if you are deciding punishment that could also need to be take into account

http://www.malespank.net/listAuthor.php?author=Ivor+slipper

6 Re: 2 May 2016 - Lame Excuse? on Mon May 02, 2016 3:46 am

MemoryMan


Sherrif
I agree with Icono.

Setting an arbitrary deadline on such an occasion as a day out, particularly when driving in traffic is involved IS unreasonable.

Even so since there was a deadline Ethan SHOULD have called you with a revised ETA ............ and he did, if a little late.

Censure for lack of consideration, but no punishment.

http://www.malespank.net/listAuthor.php?author=MemoryMan

7 Re: 2 May 2016 - Lame Excuse? on Mon May 02, 2016 6:57 am

Kat


Editor Extraordinaire
Icono makes a good point about the schedule, but I assume that since the boys had phones, that schedule was flexible if there were reasonable excuses. Even back in my day, curfews yielded to unforeseeable circumstances; and even back in my day, I was expected to find a phone ASAP to let my parents know that I would be later than expected. What we have in the scenario is an admission from both boys that they ignored my phone call for twenty minutes, as well as ignoring their alarms. The line between responsible and "helicopter" parenting can be pretty thin, but I think the boys' ages, Bruce's inexperience as a driver and the fact that he is driving in a big city make the level of supervision reasonable. The boys' behavior is their own fault, and I see no mitigating circumstances to suggest I contributed by placing them under too many restraints.

I'm going to give them the talk Kier suggests and wait until they beg me to paddle their backsides in exchange for another chance. If they can convince me they've learned their lesson, I'll give them otk paddlings to impress upon their memories that they've behaved like little boys.

Kat

8 Re: 2 May 2016 - Lame Excuse? on Mon May 02, 2016 8:12 am

kalico


Sherrif
They will be getting a good talk and by the time I'm done I think like Kat, they will be asking for a paddling from me for a second chance .....

These ages are old enough to have followed the rules set out for them and them not calling to ask to change plans and the fact they ignored my call earned them the sore butts.... Especially as a first time and the fact I went out of my way to help them..


Hugs kal

9 Re: 2 May 2016 - Lame Excuse? on Mon May 02, 2016 4:37 pm

Jack


Admin
May I start by asking 'What heavy traffic?' If I'd thought the idea of heavy traffic on the weekend would even be considered, I would have also pointed out that they were due home at 10pm, and that that time was decided on us mutually, after having looked at the schedule. Whether that was 'unreasonable' or not depends, I suppose, depends on how many days you think a 15 and 16-year old should be allowed to be away from home and unsupervised.

While I like Kier's answer, I don't find it very.... not reasonable, but... practical, I suppose. This was a very rare occasion, and telling them they might not be allowed to do it again at some indefinite point in the future doesn't sound very effective to me. I would have been very inclined to go along with that if they'd answered their phones, but, for me, that moved it into behavior that needed a firmer response.

In this case, the real problem was that Bruce hardly gets to drive at all, while Ethan still has four weeks until his birthday. While I was pretty upset with him, grounding him from getting his license on time would require something a lot more drastic than this to earn.

I sat down with both boys and reminded them how the rules were set, then we talked about what they'd done wrong. While I might have let the tardiness go if they'd been honest about it, or given some mostly symbolic punishment, the fact that they didn't answer their phones, and then lied about it just pushed it to far to me, so they ended up dropping pants and boxers and taking four with the medium Lexan.

I think I can safely say they were very impressed by it. I'm also pretty sure it's memory will motivate them to be more thoughtful the next time something like this does come along.


_________________
"In the end, it's just a story. But if you ask me, it's all true."
http://bransomtx.forumotion.net

10 Re: 2 May 2016 - Lame Excuse? on Tue May 03, 2016 4:39 am

squarecutter


Sherrif
Put the way Jack did where it seems it was a bit more than about just being late. And well I dont know about Texas but I'd have thought traffic thins out a bit later on. They werent honest about it and werent keeping me in the loop and thats the bit that bothers me more. So subject to the arrangement I have wih Bruces Mom a short sharp school type paddling is called for I think

11 Re: 2 May 2016 - Lame Excuse? on Tue May 03, 2016 5:42 pm

Jack


Admin
squarecutter wrote:Put the way Jack did where it seems it was a bit more than about just being late. And well I dont know about Texas but I'd have thought traffic thins out a bit later on.

One of the things I've noticed about Texas is that we're WAY more spread out than many places. If you look at the facts, the Greater Los Angeles area has four times the people of the DFW Metroplex, but only one-quarter of the area. I had a friend visit me from LA one time. We were going to the airport about 8:15 am, and he asked 'When is rush hour around here?" I had to tell him that we were in the middle of it.

Really, except an hour or two before and after start and quitting time, or in cases of construction or wrecks, we just don't have what I would consider heavy traffic.


_________________
"In the end, it's just a story. But if you ask me, it's all true."
http://bransomtx.forumotion.net

12 Re: 2 May 2016 - Lame Excuse? on Wed May 04, 2016 9:03 am

squarecutter


Sherrif
Jack wrote:
squarecutter wrote:Put the way Jack did where it seems it was a bit more than about just being late. And well I dont know about Texas but I'd have thought traffic thins out a bit later on.

One of the things I've noticed about Texas is that we're WAY more spread out than many places.  If you look at the facts, the Greater Los Angeles area has four times the people of the DFW Metroplex, but only one-quarter of the area.  I had a friend visit me from LA one time.  We were going to the airport about 8:15 am, and he asked 'When is rush hour around here?"  I had to tell him that we were in the middle of it.

Really, except an hour or two before and after start and quitting time, or in cases of construction or wrecks, we just don't have what I would consider heavy traffic.

I am very envious

13 Re: 2 May 2016 - Lame Excuse? Today at 5:33 am

Sponsored content


View previous topic View next topic Back to top  Message [Page 1 of 1]

Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum