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BOTD 05-03-2016 Loud and Clear - A DMK Production

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Bransom Postmaster
A DMK Production

Your twelve year old son, Lewis, is usually spanked if needed but you do occasionally use restrictive punishments.

Lewis was invited to a sleepover with his best friend for Saturday and Saturday night.  You tell Lewis he can go as long as two things are done.  He has a major project due at school on Monday of the next week and you want to see significant progress on the project.  Lewis is also responsible for keeping his room in some semblance of order.  You do not require perfection but Lewis's room currently looks like a war zone and so you tell him his room also needs to be neatened up.  You give Lewis a couple of reminders during the week.

It is Saturday morning and Lewis is getting ready to go to his friend's house.  You note his room is in worse condition (you didn't think that was possible) and zero work has been done on the school project.  You tell Lewis he may not go to the sleepover and to call his friend and let him know.  Lewis storms off to use the phone.

LEWIS - 12
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Lewis has taken the phone to his room.  You happen to walk by and hear Lewis saying loud and clear, "Because my dad is a f**king a**hole, that's why."  Lewis has no idea you heard.

What happens?

Can you dig it?


Bransom Postmaster
First thing is I'm going to tan his hide. Second I'm going to stop being a fing a hole Smile

Can you dig it?


I don't find this a restrictive punishment at all. Lewis was told that he had to meet a couple of conditions to be allowed to go, and he didn't meet those conditions.

To be honest, I hold myself responsible for some of this. It sounds like Lewis is a procrastinator, and instead of just 'reminding' him a time or two, I should have helped him set a plan and made sure he got started on it.

I'm going to tell him to get off the phone, then point out that one of the reasons it's a good idea not to curse is that you never know who might hear you. Then I'll ask him what he thought would happen if he didn't do any of his work.

I'm honestly not that worried about his room right now, not as much as I am the homework. I'll listen, but I see this more as a time to stick to my guns than anything else (assuming this is just a generic sleepover).

"In the end, it's just a story. But if you ask me, it's all true."


I agree with Jack. I should have kept an eye on his progress, rather than assuming he'd get it done. But he was warned, he didn't do any of it, and he needs to stay home and do the homework. Not too concerned about his room, so long as it isn't a genuine health hazard.

As to his conversation with his friend, I'll let him know I heard. But as it wasn't really meant for my ears, I'm not going to punish for that.

Sorry Lewis. There will be other sleepovers. And if you do as you're supposed to do, you can go then.


I'm dittoing jack.....

Hugs kal


So its true then? ........... eavesdroppers never hear any good of themselves.

Its just a frustrated kid sounding off and I'm not so naive as to imagine he never uses those words when he's out of myearshot with his friends.

I wasn't supposed to hear it and I didn't.

Should he, on his own volition, break out of his strop, blitz his bedroom and spend a couple of hours on his project (unlikely) all may not be lost since I just might relent this afternoon.


He's blown it! He's had reminders and I don't consider it should be necessary for me to set up a plan of campaign for cleaning his bedroom even if it does look like a war zone.

As MM says, hearts and minds can be won over so if he sets to on the project and cleaning up the room instead of using his energy to curse me, I might be persuaded to change my mind later in the day.


I agree with Jack. The chances of my also relenting later are thereby reduced by hearing Lewis's remarks. It is the attitude before we got to this point that needs improving nd removing a nice event, effectively grounding Lewis will make the point


Editor Extraordinaire
I think this is an occasion when it's better to hear no evil. Apart from that, I do agree with Jack that a twelve year old probably needs more concrete input than I seem to have given. I'll let him calm down a few minutes before coming back and taking a look at the project with him. Then the two of us will set an actual completion goal for what needs to be done this weekend. If he can reach that goal (and I'll be happy to assist), perhaps the sleepover is still a possibility. I'm willing to compromise on the room unless it's a public health hazard.


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