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BOTD 05-19-2016 Sweating the Swimmer - A Mahoover Production

Who looks like they need a spanking more?

Josh
 
Jake
 
Both
 
Neither
 

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Skater


Bransom Postmaster
Sweating the Swimmer
A mahoover Production

You have two sons, Andrew (18) and Josh (12).  Andrew is a fairly serious competitive swimmer, and is a member of a local USA Swimming team.  He has also been a member of the neighborhood swim team since he was 5 years old.  The neighborhood swim team is a summer league rec team, so it is nowhere as competitive as Andrew's USA Swimming team.  The neighborhood team hires either high school Seniors or collage Freshmen to coach the team.  Andrew was really proud that he was one of the swimmers selected to coach this summer.  This is his first job.

Josh has never taken swimming as seriously as Andrew, but has always been an member of the neighborhood summer league team.  Josh is much more interested in soccer, and is in the middle of the pack in his age group as far as swimming skill.

When you got home from work today, Andrew asked to talk to you.  When you sit down with him, he explains that he is having difficulty coaching the 11 to 12 year old boys.  They are constantly goofing off, and not doing the practice he designed for them.  And Josh and his best friend Jake are the worst of the bunch.  He tells you that he thinks the rest of the boys would settle down if Josh and Jake weren't constantly stirring things up.  He asks you for help/advice on how to handle the team.

You have left Andrew in charge of Josh in the past when you and your significant other took a weekend vacation.  Andrew was given spanking privileges over Josh, and ended up spanking Josh.  Josh took it well, and when you got back and talked to Josh, he admitted that he deserved to be spanked.

Andrew - 18
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Josh and Jake - 12
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What advice do you give Andrew?  Do you step in and help directly, or do you let Andrew handle this?



Last edited by Skater on Wed May 18, 2016 5:22 pm; edited 1 time in total


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Skater


Bransom Postmaster
I am going to let Andrew handle it as he is the coach. I will suggest he invite Jake over to you house and read the two boys the riot act. As I know Jake's dad I will speak to him myself. I'm sure he would be OK if Andrew had to spank both of their butts. (Jake's dad is a spanker)

I will suggest if he thinks a spanking is in order that he do it at our house after practice.


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Y Lee Coyote


Cowboy
It hurts to be a fallen god.  And Andrew had better not take that out on Josh and Jake if he wants to sit for the rest of the summer.

The boys have different interests.  Andrew was a super competitive swimmer but his brother does not have that interest.  It is likely that the rest of kids don't.  They want to have fun swimming and even competing but at a much lower level.  Twelve-year-olds are not competitive the same way as eighteen-year-olds are.

If the rest of the team wants to get more intense then they can vote that way and Josh and Jake can quit if they don't want to and the others do.  It may be that Andrew is not the right coach for this group.

Y.

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AFinch


Sherrif
Unless spanking is on the table for all the other boys, and I'd be willing to bet it isn't now--it wasn't even when I was a kid--then I don't see it has any place in solving Andrew's problem with Jake and Josh.

And as Andrew is the coach, he needs to figure out how to engage his swimmers without running to me. I'm going to suggest he sit the boys down and read them the riot act. They can be punished if needed with extra drills, like any other non-family/family friend kids. And they can be told that if they don't straighten up, they're going to be off the team. And if THAT happens, parents will be notified they are, and why, and how their parents choose to deal with that might be something they really don't want to experience.

squarecutter


Sherrif
Andrew has to deal with this as a Coach. He should talk to Jake and his parents and pose the question as to whether Jake wishes to remain. I cant see that Andrew has any disciplinary powers other than removing Jake from the group.

As to Josh he needs to have much the same chat. He should accept that Jake isnt as intense about swimming a he is but explain that his behaviour is incompatible with remaining in he group and explain that if Jake doesn't wish to remain he, Andrew, will understand as indeed I will.

At the same time if Josh remains he should understand that further unacceptable behaviour at practice will bring a spanking either from Andrew or from me at home. Of course Josh is at liberty to discuss with me if he wishes but Andrew and I will be singing from the same hymn sheet

ivor


Marshall
It is understandable that 11/12 year olds are going to goof off if left under the control of a 18 year old, especially if the coach is a brother of a member.

I'll sit down with Josh and point out how he is making life very difficult for his big brother and also screwing up things for the other members of his team. Then I'll ask him if he wants to continue in the team - or quit. If he opts to stay then he is going to have to quit the goofing, or I'll deal with him - and he knows what that means. But, if he wants to quit that isn't a problem with me or his big brother.

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MemoryMan


Sherrif
I'll go with Ivor.

If Josh elects to stay and stop the goofing, that should also curb his goofing partner.

Failing that Andrew also has the option of complaining to the governing body of the team.

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Pi Beta


Deputy
I suspect that the one main reason for the goofing around is because of the fraternal connection and that both boys, but Josh in particular would not behave similarly under another coach. I need to instil it into Josh that for the time he is swimming, Andrew is not his brother but his coach and that if he can't accept that, he should stick to his soccer and just do recreational swimming away from a team situation.

mahoover


Cowboy
I am going to tell Andrew that dealing with this is part of being a coach, so he is going to have to handle it. With that said, I am going to give him some advice on how to handle it. I would advise him that he have a talk with the entire age group stressing that practice is time for practice, not time for goofing off. Then when any swimmer starts to goof off, he would remind them that this is practice time. If they continue to goof off, he would pull them from the set and have them sit in one of the deck chairs (if two swimmers are acting out, separate them on the deck). Then when the rest of the team is swimming, he would talk with the swimmer and remind them what it means to be on a team. If the swimmer is Josh, make it clear that at swimming he is a coach and not a big brother. And emphasize that they are harming the other swimmers with their actions. After the talk he would send them back to their lane. If they continue to cause problems, he would pull them out of the water again, and have them do deck exercises for the rest of practice, and then ask them if they really want to be on the team. And I would tell him that no matter what, he should make a plan for how to handle the problem, so that he isn't shooting from the hip when it comes up.

Kat


Editor Extraordinaire
I'm with Ivor. If anyone else were coaching and my kid was goofing off, I'd handle it that way. As for Andrew, I'll see if I can find someone to give him coaching pointers for that age group.

Kat

kalico


Sherrif
I'm with Ivor and mahoover......

I would tell Andrew that he needs to figure out how he can handle punishment for the swimmers (setting out for time outs or what?) then he needs to address his group on how he will proceed from now on and that is there warning...

As for my younger son I think we need to have a talk and make sure this is what he wants then let him know that I'm not happy about his behavior and that if it doesn't stop I will be punishing him if I hear about anymore nonsense within reason,he needs to know Im in agreement with his older brother but I don't feel this is something older brother should be taking care of on the home front.....

Hugs kal

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