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20 June 2016 - I Know My First Name is Teddy

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1 20 June 2016 - I Know My First Name is Teddy on Sun Jun 19, 2016 5:34 pm

Jack


Admin
You raise foster children.

This is Kenny.

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Kenny is 11.  He's lived with you for nearly five years now (about three months short).  When he moved in, he was startled to find that some of your younger kids (who are still older than him) had stuffed animals.  Kenny's biological father said that stuffed animals were for girls and babies, and Kenny had never had one.  Over the next few years, Kenny amassed a fair collection of them.  After a while, he stopped getting as many, and finally, he decided he was probably too old for them.  Many of them were donated to various places, including some of his nephews.  He only kept some that were either themed (like Star Wars and Super Heroes) or a few that had a special meaning for him.

A few months ago, one of his favorites disappeared.  It was a gift from Jeremy.  While Kenny's full brother and one of his half-brothers were adopted at the same time he was, Jeremy - his other half-brother, turned out to have been custody kidnapped, and he went back to his mother.  When Kenny first wanted stuffed animals, Jeremy was against it, having been well-trained by their biological father.  This particular bear was a Christmas gift from Jeremy after that first year, and wears the school colors from Jeremy's new school, to remind Kenny of his absent big brother.

A real effort was made to find it, looking all over the house, asking his younger nephews and cousins, and then asking his friends.  E-mails were even sent to parents, including a picture of the bear, asking that if someone had gotten it mixed up with their stuff and taken home, that it be returned.

It never reappeared.




This is Zeke.

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Zeke recently turned 19.  Zeke was raised by what sounds like a very old-fashioned religious cult.  He received very little education, and he was thrown out of his home just before he turned 18, about 14 months ago.  There were only a couple of weeks before his 18th birthday, and there was no way to get him into foster care in time for him to get benefits, so he was placed with you.  Since then, you've been working to get him educated to a point he can earn his own way, while also giving him space to grow and time to be a kid (which he never had - he was mostly worked while growing up).

Zeke never did have a childhood, and while he's mature in many ways, he can also be very childish at times.  With his agreement, you've used physical punishment with him, though you haven't had to lately.  Zeke enjoys spending time with his younger brothers, and he enjoys games that a lot of boys his age feel they've outgrown.  You and his therapist agree that he's just exploring things that he's missed, and it's helping him mature.

Today, you walked into Zeke's room to remind him he hadn't finished his chores yet.  You found him doing a portrait of the missing bear.

After a few minutes, you determine that it is the kidnap (bearnap?) victim.  You try to give Zeke the benefit of the doubt, but he admits he's had it the entire time.  He really wanted one, but was embarrassed to ask.  When Kenny noticed it missing, he was even more embarrassed to return it.  When you inquire, he admits he never thought about just leaving it to be found someplace.

So, what happens now?  Who decides what happens now?


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AFinch


Sherrif
I think Zeke needs to make this right with Kenny. If he isn't already feeling remorse, a spanking isn't going to help.

David M. Katz


Marshall
AFinch wrote:I think Zeke needs to make this right with Kenny.  If he isn't already feeling remorse, a spanking isn't going to help.

Agree. Then Zeke can go to BABW.


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StevieWeeks


Trailboss
Stevie was strongly discouraged from having a teddy bear when he was seven and desperately ill in the hospital with nephritis...

He has trouble understanding what the problem is for an eleven year old...

He's no longer a baby and all...

David M. Katz


Marshall
I just looked at Kenny's picture again and saw what he is holding in his hand. Twisted Evil It looks like Kenny has decided he is going to decide what happens to Zeke and it looks like Kenny plans on taking care of it himself. Twisted Evil


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ivor


Marshall
Can I pinch Emlyn's line..... Difficult one this scratch

In many ways it should be Kenny's decision as to what happens to Zeke, although it seems evident that at some point after the bear went missing Zeke must have lied.

Is Kenny so pleased to have the bear back that he can forgive and forget and turn the other cheek or is Zeke going to have to bare both cheeks?

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Jack


Admin
I think I would suggest to Zeke that he return the bear to his little brother, abjectly apologize, and beg forgiveness. Since Zeke has received CP from me, and since taking things from brothers' rooms without permission is a spanking offense, I think that will probably happen.




I've been asked if this was a RL scenario, and the answer is yes, but not really.

A while back, Kenny decided he'd accumulated too many stuffed animals. Since he was growing up and moving in other directions (and since he and Colt are sharing with Leif again), it was decided to donate a lot of them. It went about the way I described in the scenario.

The difference between the scenario and real life is that, in real life, Zeke took one of the animals that was going to be donated. There was some confusion when we were packing it up, and we did look, but I finally decided I must have miscounted. When I found Zeke with it, his answer to why he'd sneaked away with it was pretty much as described in the scenario. We talked about a trip to Build a Bear, and he's pretty happy with this one. I honestly think he just wanted something to cuddle when he's feeling stressed.


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"In the end, it's just a story. But if you ask me, it's all true."
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MemoryMan


Sherrif
Zeke is carrying a load of emotional baggage and in dispossessing him of the bear I will leave him in no doubt about the amount of distress he has caused Kenny; but there will be no punishment imposed.

I will return the bear to Kenny with a full explanation, telling him both how angry I am with Zeke and that he has every right to be angry too.  I will go on to explain Zeke's situation in a way that an eleven year old can appreciate and hope that I can promote a degree of understanding and forgiveness in Kenny.

If this doesn't work then I'll just have to wing it from there; but if it does I'll take Kenny out to choose another stuffy that HE can give to Zeke as a present from him.

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Kat


Editor Extraordinaire
I really can't find it in myself to be angry with Zeke or to think punishment would in any way be helpful. He knows that taking it was wrong, but that a boy his age *would* take it is indicative of emotional problems. I think the best thing is for me to return Kenny's bear with a minimum of fuss and a cover story about finding it. Then I need to see that Zeke gets his own bear that is uniquely special for him.

Kat

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