Bransom, TX

a discussion place for our web site


You are not connected. Please login or register

BOTD 06-29-2016 I Decided Not to Play - A DMK Production

View previous topic View next topic Go down  Message [Page 1 of 1]

Skater


Bransom Postmaster
I DECIDED NOT TO PLAY
A DMK Production

Your son, Tyler, just turned fifteen.  He is finishing up his ninth grade year.  Last fall he played for the Freshman football team.  Tyler has been looking forward to playing football for the school again next year and that has been all he has seemed to talk about.  Today Tyler tells you there is a meeting after school for the football team about next year.  He says the meeting is supposed to take about two hours.  (You pick Tyler up so this is information you needed.)  You tell Tyler that is fine and to text when he is ready to come home.

Not thirty minutes after school Tyler texts you and says he is ready to come home.

TYLER - 15
[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

You collect your son and ask why the meeting was so short.  Tyler says, "I decided not to play and told Coach I was quitting." You try to press Tyler for a reason why and all he says is, "I dunno.  I decided not to play."  You decide to leave the matter until later.

This evening the coach gives you a call.  The coach says he has no firm information but he needs you to be aware of something.  The coach says he told the players in the meeting that there was a new school policy requiring all players to be drug tested.  The coach says it was at that point that Tyler got up and excused himself and told the coach he was quitting the team.  The coach says it seems fishy and thinks you need to be aware. The coach says Tyler is a good player and if things work out he would gladly let Tyler rescind his resignation. You thank the coach for the information and go to talk to your son.

What happens?


_________________
Can you dig it?
http://www.malespank.net/listAuthor.php?author=Skater

Jack


Admin
I thank the coach and tell him Tyler will probably be taking him up on that offer. Then Tyler and I sit down for a long discussion. By the end of it, he'll know that I'm going to be purchasing some home drug tests, and he WILL be taking them for a while. If he has a problem, we need to address it over the summer. Even if he's 'just' smoking pot, he needs to stop until he's old enough to be responsible for his own legal problems and bills.

What happens after that, he and I will have to determine.


_________________
"In the end, it's just a story. But if you ask me, it's all true."
http://bransomtx.forumotion.net

AFinch


Sherrif
Jack just saved me a lot of typing.

StevieWeeks


Trailboss
Tyler after ten years in the oubliette...

[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

David M. Katz


Marshall
I guess it is a "Ditto Jack" sort of day. cheers

But, Stevie, it was nice that Tyler was allowed to keep a pet rat for company. Razz


_________________
Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.
http://www.malespank.net/listAuthor.php?author=David+M.+Katz

Y Lee Coyote


Cowboy
David M. Katz wrote: keep a pet rat for company.  Razz
That is not a pet but dinner -- fresh protein.


Although I agree generally, one definitely must consider other things than drug use.  Some possibilities are  -- friends smoking and being contaminated by the smoke; use some time in the past; misunderstanding of what drugs are; protesting the guilty until proven innocent policy.

Y.

http://www.asstr.org/~YLeeCoyote/

MemoryMan


Sherrif
It is a "heads up" I can't ignore ---- so ditto Jack.

http://www.malespank.net/listAuthor.php?author=MemoryMan

squarecutter


Sherrif
Jack also saved me the effort. Seems like Tyler rather gave himself away

ivor


Marshall
Presumably the first test was going to be then and there as otherwise Tyler made it rather obvious he had a problem.

I'll also join with Jack - I need to find out if there is a problem and then work with him to find a way of getting him to quit.

http://www.malespank.net/listAuthor.php?author=Ivor+slipper

Kat


Editor Extraordinaire
I have a different take on this. When I was a high school student, I took no illegal drugs (though I did some underage drinking, which was pretty commonplace at the time). Nevertheless, my response to a drug testing program would have been the same as Tyler's -- not because I had anything to hide but as a matter of principle. I would have then and do now consider it in an unconscionable violation of privacy. Unless I have some solid reason to think that Tyler is a drug user, I would respect his decision. The two of us will have a talk, but if he quit the team because the school made violating his privacy a condition of playing, I'll support his decision. I will also consider a private school or paying tuition to move him to a different public school that respects privacy.

Kat

ivor


Marshall
Kat wrote:I have a different take on this. When I was a high school student, I took no illegal drugs (though I did some underage drinking, which was pretty commonplace at the time). Nevertheless, my response to a drug testing program would have been the same as Tyler's -- not because I had anything to hide but as a matter of principle. I would have then and do now consider it in an unconscionable violation of privacy. Unless I have some solid reason to think that Tyler is a drug user, I would respect his decision. The two of us will have a talk, but if he quit the team because the school made violating his privacy a condition of playing, I'll support his decision. I will also consider a private school or paying tuition to move him to a different public school that respects privacy.

Kat

I see where you are coming from Kat, but if Tyler ever ends up in a professional sport then he'd be subject to drug testing. I guess you can probably argue college sport is a different matter.

http://www.malespank.net/listAuthor.php?author=Ivor+slipper

Kat


Editor Extraordinaire
ivor wrote:
Kat wrote:I have a different take on this. When I was a high school student, I took no illegal drugs (though I did some underage drinking, which was pretty commonplace at the time). Nevertheless, my response to a drug testing program would have been the same as Tyler's -- not because I had anything to hide but as a matter of principle. I would have then and do now consider it in an unconscionable violation of privacy. Unless I have some solid reason to think that Tyler is a drug user, I would respect his decision. The two of us will have a talk, but if he quit the team because the school made violating his privacy a condition of playing, I'll support his decision. I will also consider a private school or paying tuition to move him to a different public school that respects privacy.

Kat

I see where you are coming from Kat, but if Tyler ever ends up in a professional sport then he'd be subject to drug testing. I guess you can probably argue college sport is a different matter.

That's true, Ivor, but I consider that playing in a professional sports league is a matter of choice, with a great deal of financial compensation for submitting to drug testing. Most kids in public schools have little choice about attending, and admissions officers at colleges/universities give a lot of weight to kids' participation in extra-curricular activities. It's a form of blackmail for schools to make drug testing a condition for extra-curricular participation.

One caveat: I would have a lot more sympathy if the school is testing specifically for performance enhancing drugs rather than recreational drugs. I can see a rationale for that, particularly as a lot of secondary school athletes seem to be juicing. Even then, I would think it makes more sense to do random rather than blanket testing; also, it makes sense to test specific kids that you have reason to suspect.

Kat

kalico


Sherrif
I'm also dittoing Jack





Hugs kal

David M. Katz


Marshall
Kat wrote:I have a different take on this. When I was a high school student, I took no illegal drugs (though I did some underage drinking, which was pretty commonplace at the time). Nevertheless, my response to a drug testing program would have been the same as Tyler's -- not because I had anything to hide but as a matter of principle. I would have then and do now consider it in an unconscionable violation of privacy. Unless I have some solid reason to think that Tyler is a drug user, I would respect his decision. The two of us will have a talk, but if he quit the team because the school made violating his privacy a condition of playing, I'll support his decision. I will also consider a private school or paying tuition to move him to a different public school that respects privacy.

Kat

Very excellent point, Kat, and one also given by Coyote.

Playing Devil's advocate here though. Twisted Evil If that were the case then could one assume that Tyler would have been more open with me when pressed for a reason for quitting?


_________________
Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.
http://www.malespank.net/listAuthor.php?author=David+M.+Katz

Kat


Editor Extraordinaire
David M. Katz wrote:
Kat wrote:I have a different take on this. When I was a high school student, I took no illegal drugs (though I did some underage drinking, which was pretty commonplace at the time). Nevertheless, my response to a drug testing program would have been the same as Tyler's -- not because I had anything to hide but as a matter of principle. I would have then and do now consider it in an unconscionable violation of privacy. Unless I have some solid reason to think that Tyler is a drug user, I would respect his decision. The two of us will have a talk, but if he quit the team because the school made violating his privacy a condition of playing, I'll support his decision. I will also consider a private school or paying tuition to move him to a different public school that respects privacy.

Kat

Very excellent point, Kat, and one also given by Coyote.

Playing Devil's advocate here though.  Twisted Evil   If that were the case then could one assume that Tyler would have been more open with me when pressed for a reason for quitting?

I'm not sure how much I've pressed him. I can see plenty of reasons why he might not offer a reason and why I would give him some space. After talking with the coach, I'm sure we'd have a second conversation where I would ask directly if his decision was related to the coach's announcement. At this point, I hope he would offer an explanation. I also hope that if he were abusing any drugs, including alcohol, that I would be aware of the warning signs and pick up on them without a drug test. This assumes a positive relationship between us, with honest communication and plenty of involvement, as well as a level of trust and respect for his privacy. Balancing trust and privacy concerns against my responsibility for his health and behavior is tricky but not impossible. A big part of it is ensuring that he knows that while I will react about some behaviors, I will not overreact. If he has been using marijuana or alcohol, for instance, we've got some things to discuss; I won't, however, have a meltdown over typical rite of passage behavior.

Kat

Zac


Wrangler
I will wait until Tyler is asleep. Then I have him spirited away to an architecturally interesting village which may, or may not, be on the Welsh coast. When he wakes up he will be asked why he resigned and he will stay there until he answers. There will be weather balloons to stop him escaping.  This normally works though we might have to play with his mind a bit before we get an answer.

ivor


Marshall
Zac wrote:I will wait until Tyler is asleep. Then I have him spirited away to an architecturally interesting village which may, or may not, be on the Welsh coast. When he wakes up he will be asked why he resigned and he will stay there until he answers. There will be weather balloons to stop him escaping.  This normally works though we might have to play with his mind a bit before we get an answer.

You're going to hold him prisoner??

http://www.malespank.net/listAuthor.php?author=Ivor+slipper

Zac


Wrangler
ivor wrote:
Zac wrote:I will wait until Tyler is asleep. Then I have him spirited away to an architecturally interesting village which may, or may not, be on the Welsh coast. When he wakes up he will be asked why he resigned and he will stay there until he answers. There will be weather balloons to stop him escaping.  This normally works though we might have to play with his mind a bit before we get an answer.

You're going to hold him prisoner??

A Prisoner? bounce

Goodness, no, well maybe, yes, a bit.
Well, six of one, half a dozen of the other! Wink

Iconoclast


Trailboss
As I have said, drug testing is a way to determine if someone is using drugs with no punishment for untold lies, and no need to judge whether someone is telling the truth or not!

And a drug test reveals if there are drugs in the body, which is what we care about; mere possession without use does not really matter and is not detected.

Iconoclast

Sponsored content


View previous topic View next topic Back to top  Message [Page 1 of 1]

Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum