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BOTD 7/29/16 "Squirtles and Squalor" A Stevie Production

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David M. Katz


Marshall
SQUIRTLES AND SQUALOR
A Stevie Production


Your son, Malcolm, is 15 and has become a big Pokemon Go fan... to the point where he has become a little obsessed with it and, in your opinion, is neglecting some other aspects of his life. You told him flat out that you want him to spend this last summer as a child so he's been told he has to wait until after his sixteenth birthday to get a job; consequently, though you're not too concerned about this at present... you do have some concerns about the start of the school year in September.

Malcolm, 15, catching Pokemon thingies and all...
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Today, however things came to a head when your spouse walked into Malcolm's room:

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Both of you try to avoid going in there, but today there was a definite aroma leaking out into the rest of the house, and getting into the air conditioning ducts... it's turned very hot (34 C / 93F) so you cannot just open windows to get rid of the smell.

You got your hands on Malcolm's Ithing, and confiscated it until he'd managed to clean up his room. It took him most of the afternoon, but finally, it got to a point where it looked reasonable, and you released his phone so he could go off catching Pokemon again... (when he informed you that he'd caught a Squirtle, you asked him innocently if he needed a dose of Immodium and all)

Anyhow, the room seemed fine for the rest of the day, but later the next morning the Febreze wore off and the smell returned... you only noticed it after Malcolm had left the house with his friends...

It occurs to you that you forgot to check under the bed when you did the inspection... you look under it and immediately wish you had not... it takes you a couple of second to get you nausea under control... the smell at close quarters is indescribable...

Several pairs of sweaty and stained underpants, a stash of dirty dishes complete with moldy, uneaten food, and a couple of crusty socks that have clearly been used for masturbatory purposes are visible among the other, unidentifiable detritus piled under there and coated with a layer of dust...

It's likely that he'll return around lunchtime in search of sustenance... what do you say to him when he arrives??


_________________
Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.
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David M. Katz


Marshall
I will show Malcolm the problem and tell him his room is still not up to where it needs to be. No, I am not overly concerned about the condition of HIS room unless it becomes a hazard or threatens MY house with odor, pests, etc. The room is a hazard.

I will take the phone again, specifically tell Malcolm what needs to be done and leave him to cleaning the room, doing some laundry, and cleaning some dishes.

When everything is at an acceptable standard then he once again go and try to catch 'em all.

(Oh, and Malcolm, socks are for feet. Embarassed )


_________________
Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.
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AFinch


Sherrif
Mostly I agree with DMK. But youtube Uncle Andy's talk to Shane from "Weeds". At least Malcolm hasn't clogged the plumbing with HIS socks.

Kat


Editor Extraordinaire
Clearly Malcolm is unfit to live in a human habitation. Therefore, I'm going down to PetsMart and buy him a Dogloo.

Kat

squarecutter


Sherrif
I think David has done the only thing a parent can do

Iconoclast


Trailboss
Look at the picture, that room is clean for a teenager, you can see the floor! All I need do is to insist that all (perishable) food and dirty cloths be removed!

Iconoclast

StevieWeeks


Trailboss
DOGLOO

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