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BOTD 08-31-2016 You Ruined My Life - A Kat Production

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Skater


Bransom Postmaster
You Ruined My Life!
A Kat Production


Your thirteen-year-old son Matthew is starting to get moody and melodramatic now that he’s in his teens. You’ve only spanked him once since he turned thirteen. He didn’t make more than the usual fuss about it, so you never addressed taking spanking off the table as a punishment. Today, however, he not only refuses to cooperate but also has a meltdown that includes telling you that you ruined his life – and this before you even lift a hand.

Matthew - 13
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It turns out that your spouse mentioned that Matthew was due a spanking in front of his friends. The spouse was just thoughtless rather than malicious in trying to explain why Matthew was in a bad mood. He had earned the spanking in the morning and you decided to delay it until evening so he wouldn’t go to school upset. He’s upset now, though. He’s afraid his friends will never let him live it down.

How do you respond?


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Pi Beta


Deputy
If he doesn't get the spanking, his friends will make fun of him but if he does get it, they'll still make fun of it - even if many or all of them usually get spanked so he can't win!

I think I'd talk that out with him and then ask him whether his friends will think more of him for "being brave" and taking the spanking or "wimping out".

Then I'll ask him again - shall I spank him or would he like to be grounded without electronics for a week. I think he'll opt for the original punishment but if he doesn't, he can suffer the other.

AFinch


Sherrif
Like Pi, I think Matthew, and I, are in a lose-lose situation.

I will point out that it's likely that all, or most, of his friends still get spanked, and apologize for his mother's tongue  since even though we all know that it's "polite fiction" to think his friends don't also get punished when they mess up, it should have been a private family matter.

That doesn't change the fact that he DID mess up, and IS due a spanking.  That's going to happen.  We can discuss other punishments for the future after this issue has been handled.  And I will reiterate that NO punishment at all would be necessary if he'd just behave.

Unfortunately, because of my spouse, he'll have to deal with a few days of, hopefully good natured, teasing.  But that too shall pass.



Last edited by AFinch on Wed Aug 31, 2016 7:09 am; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : Typo)

kalico


Sherrif
Kier has it for me......



Hugs kal

ivor


Marshall
I'm afraid Matthew is going to get marked, but they will soon fade.

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Jack


Admin
I'm going to tell Matt to take a few deep breaths and chill for a bit, while I go talk to my spouse. Matt is a child and has a right to occasionally act childish. To be honest, the timing on this whole thing seems confusing to me, but my spouse should know better than to have said anything about that issue. I'm going to stress that point, and then I'll wait while he goes and apologizes to Matt.

After the apology, I'll go back to Matt, and I'll simply suggest that, if his friends tease him, he simply says, "Pop thinks I'm still a little kid, but Dad doesn't, and Dad handles things when I get in trouble." If they persist, he should ask how their parents deal with things. (Of course, if it were around here, the kids would likely know I still spank, because it hasn't been that long since they were over my lap themselves).

If there are still problems, I'll tell Matt that I'm not changing my mind about spanking him, but if he wants to stay home for a week or give me his phone for a few days, so he can tell his friends he's grounded or restricted, I'll go along with it.


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Kat


Editor Extraordinaire
I think Matthew needs to be heard. He's at the age when the approval and respect of his friends means everything. All I can really do is listen while he vents his emotions. If he seems receptive to reassurance, I'll tell him that even the most embarrassing incidents are either forgotten or lose their power over us if we don't take ourselves too seriously. In any case, I don't think this is a good time to punish him. He already feels sorry enough for himself.

Kat

squarecutter


Sherrif
I like Jacks pastoral side with Pi 's and Jacks options for punishment. Mom I hope will learn more about an early adolescents need for street cred. Spanking provides sufficient indignity without everyone else getting to hear about it

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