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9/19/16 - Father Confessor or Mom?

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1 9/19/16 - Father Confessor or Mom? on Sun Sep 18, 2016 5:01 pm

Jack


Admin
Bruce is one of the best friends of your 16-year old son, Ethan. You adopted Ethan nearly five years ago, and you've known Bruce almost as long as you've known Ethan. Bruce's mother is single, his father doesn't seem to be active in his life at all, and Bruce has turned to you, with his mother's blessing, as a father surrogate. While you try to give time and attention to Bruce in positive ways, the attention you've given him definitely includes a number of cases of corporal punishment - from over the knee, hand when he and Ethan were both much younger, to switches and paddles when he broke the law or more recently.

The past year or so, Bruce has been doing well (and good). At the start of school, you and he sat down and set some goals together.


Bruce at 16

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Yesterday, Bruce came and asked to talk to you privately. He general prefers to talk to you in your bedroom; both because it's usually assumed your office is used for corporal punishment and because he was on 'whiz quiz' for tobacco and marijuana for a while, and those were given in your bathroom, which also gave the two of you time to talk privately.

Once alone, Bruce seems oddly nervous, so you start asking him how things are going. You've kept track of his school work, so you know he's keeping up. He finally mentions that he went out with his friends in band, after the football last night, and that his mom even gave him a little extra spending money. The problem is that he's been getting home late, but still before she gets home, and not being honest with her. It's not all the time, but he's just been blowing off the schedule. After his mom gave him the extra money, she thanked him for doing such a good job with everything lately.

Now he's feeling guilty, but he spent the money, and he doesn't want her to feel bad about him, so he decided to tell you.

What time is it now, (surrogate) dad?


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2 Re: 9/19/16 - Father Confessor or Mom? on Sun Sep 18, 2016 6:06 pm

AFinch


Sherrif
It sounds like he's coming for advice, not punishment. And it sounds like no one would have known of his curfew violations had he himself not admitted it and come clean. I think that's the beginning of self-discipline (real discipline would be being on time, though my very adult professional associates never seemed to understand that when I was still working).

At any rate, unless he flat out asks me to punish him, we're just going to talk.

3 Re: 9/19/16 - Father Confessor or Mom? on Sun Sep 18, 2016 6:37 pm

StevieWeeks


Trailboss
Such an evil boy...

Obviously there is only one punishment for such an heinous crime...

Horrible medieval torture picture warning:
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Stevie... Twisted Evil

4 Re: 9/19/16 - Father Confessor or Mom? on Sun Sep 18, 2016 9:53 pm

Kat


Editor Extraordinaire
Kount me with Kier. K Club

Kat

5 Re: 9/19/16 - Father Confessor or Mom? on Sun Sep 18, 2016 11:26 pm

David M. Katz


Marshall
Kat wrote:Kount me with Kier. K Club

Kat

K3


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Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.
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6 Re: 9/19/16 - Father Confessor or Mom? on Mon Sep 19, 2016 2:28 am

ivor


Marshall
Is the club till accepting new members?

http://www.malespank.net/listAuthor.php?author=Ivor+slipper

7 Re: 9/19/16 - Father Confessor or Mom? on Mon Sep 19, 2016 10:10 am

kalico


Sherrif
K club......




Hugs kal

8 Re: 9/19/16 - Father Confessor or Mom? on Mon Sep 19, 2016 11:30 am

MemoryMan


Sherrif
He's made a judgement on himself and doesn't need another one from me.

I'm going to gently lead him to explore his feelings about himself and to come up with his own solution.

http://www.malespank.net/listAuthor.php?author=MemoryMan

9 Re: 9/19/16 - Father Confessor or Mom? on Tue Sep 20, 2016 7:03 am

squarecutter


Sherrif
MemoryMan wrote:He's made a judgement on himself and doesn't need another one from me.

I'm going to gently lead him to explore his feelings about himself and to come up with his own solution.

I agree with that

10 Re: 9/19/16 - Father Confessor or Mom? on Tue Sep 20, 2016 4:44 pm

Jack


Admin
If you weren't sure, this is based on RL.

Let me start by saying that, unlike some of my boys (Clayton, Marcus, Tracy), Bruce gets along great with his mom. On occasions like this, however, I sometimes think he's looking for attention (more attention? masculine attention?), and I'm never sure if he's willing to take negative attention, or if it's just a way he knows to reach out to me.

Bruce isn't usually really demanding of my time (at least not in the last couple of years), so when he comes to me, I try to make time for him. Also, I do still test him (at his request - he says knowing I might decide to test him makes it easier to resist), so I got the tests out, had him feel them, then grab a shower. Afterwards (he was clean), I did his back, and we talked.

I pretty much did what MM suggested. I asked questioned and made him find his own answers. I think his real problem wasn't with the being late, but with taking the money under what he felt was false pretenses. We finally decided that he needed to talk to his mom about it.

It turns out that he was being much more strict with himself about the timeliness issue than his Mom was. He was going by a combination of my household rules and his mom's rules from the past. At this point, as long as he's home about the time she is, is keeping his chores up to her satisfaction, and his keeping his homework up to mine, she's not real worried about it.

In other words, he was just borrowing trouble.... (I did smack his rear a couple of times while doctoring his back, though Twisted Evil ).


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