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BOTD 09-22-2016 Exasperation - A Jack Production

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Skater

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Bransom Postmaster
EXASPERATION
A Jack Production

Your twelve year old son, Brian, is subject to spanking if needed.

Brian has had an ongoing issue with procrastinating with and not doing his homework.  The homework is never excessive, Brian just wouldn't do it or he would put it off.  This was affecting his grades so you put Brian on a homework schedule and check it each evening.  Brian is supposed to come in and get a snack and chill for a bit and then start his homework by 4:00 so he can be finished before dinner.  Brian is to do nothing but his homework until it is done.  This is the second evening of the new routine.

You sit Brian down at 4:00 to begin.  You check and all Brian has to do is complete a simple worksheet that didn't get finished in class.  Brian has no other assignments.  You estimate the worksheet may take ten or fifteen minutes tops.

Brian stalls and whines and won't start working.  Every time you check, Brian seems to be doing anything but his homework - daydreaming, doodling, shuffling paper, tapping his pencil, etc.  You remind Brian several times to get started and that he will be done in ten minutes.  Dinner time is here so Brian eats.  His homework is still not done so you sit Brian back down with his worksheet with the same results.

After another half hour of this Brian breaks down sobbing with exasperation.  (You have offered help and advice but Brian says he knows how to do the work.)


BRIAN - 12
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You are exasperated too.  

Do you give Brian another reason to cry?


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Kat

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I don't think letting my exasperation get the better of me is the answer. Brian's behavior is irrational. He has sat and done nothing rather than finish a worksheet he supposedly knows how to complete, thus missing any opportunity for recreation. I need to find out what is going on. The behavior is odd enough to make me suspect some sort of attention disorder, but before I start making appointments for an evaluation, I should assess if this is a pattern. Maybe Brian has a headache or doesn't feel well. He doesn't seem to be making some sort of defiant stand. My response is contingent on a lot of factors. Based on what I know, I'm not comfortable reaching a conclusion.

Kat

ivor

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Marshall
Surely there must have been consequences at school in the past for not doing his homework? Even if you didn't know he wasn't doing it, they would.

Assuming he isn't feeling ill - and he hasn't said so this evening - I can only class his lack of effort as a cross between indolence and impudence.

I definitely think the time has come to apply some pressure to his butt. Not that much, but with a promise that he'll be getting some more in half an hour if the works isn't done by then. And then repeated half an hour later if needed.

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David M. Katz

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Marshall
ivor wrote:Surely there must have been consequences at school in the past for not doing his homework?

Probably not, ivor.

Here, most teachers would simply assign a grade of F or Incomplete and move on. A more involved teacher might give a parent a heads up but typically these issues show up on progress reports / report cards.

As a side note, the high school here has taken a new approach to homework this year - there isn't any. Students do have to read at home and, if an assignment isn't finished in class then it goes home but there is no homework assigned. Attendance and student morale is greatly improved.


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David M. Katz

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Marshall
As far as my answer to the scenario, I would have taken ivor's approach before dinner.

Kat does make a good point as to getting to the root of the issue but, if I am honest, the parent in me would be ivor this time.


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Emlyn Morgan

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Trailboss
Teach by example. Don't procrastinate. Whack him now!

ivor

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Marshall
David M. Katz wrote:

As a side note, the high school here has taken a new approach to homework this year - there isn't any.  Students do have to read at home and, if an assignment isn't finished in class then it goes home but there is no homework assigned.  Attendance and student morale is greatly improved.

Interesting. That would seem to imply that either the homework was never necessary or that the school is accepting a lowering in standards as the students cannot realistically be learning as much.

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squarecutter

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Sherrif
David M. Katz wrote:
ivor wrote:Surely there must have been consequences at school in the past for not doing his homework?

Probably not, ivor.

Here, most teachers would simply assign a grade of F or Incomplete and move on.  A more involved teacher might give a parent a heads up but typically these issues show up on progress reports / report cards.

As a side note, the high school here has taken a new approach to homework this year - there isn't any.  Students do have to read at home and, if an assignment isn't finished in class then it goes home but there is no homework assigned.  Attendance and student morale is greatly improved.

Surprised at this My understanding, especially one yo u reach senior levels is that there isnt enough classtime to cover everything. Also how do you measure what pupils are actually taking in or reinforce the learning.

Im telling Brian that hes getting spanked if as a result of him not completing an assignment he gets an F. Lack of ability is one thing. Lack of effort, something else

Jack

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Admin
ivor wrote:
David M. Katz wrote:

As a side note, the high school here has taken a new approach to homework this year - there isn't any.  Students do have to read at home and, if an assignment isn't finished in class then it goes home but there is no homework assigned.  Attendance and student morale is greatly improved.

Interesting. That would seem to imply that either the homework was never necessary or that the school is accepting a lowering in standards as the students cannot realistically be learning as much.

I think the truth is that teachers came to see homework as 'proof' that they were doing something, during a time when holding teachers responsible for students success or failure. When I was a kid, we usually had reading and 10 to 20 questions in most classes, then time to work on that in class. While I don't think we were as bad as I heard from some areas, that still grew since I was teaching. It was never horrible for any one class, but it seemed like it was from every teacher, every night for a whie.




As for procrastination, I was really bad about that, especially in fourth and fifth grade. Instead of doing it at home, I'd do it at school the next day, sometimes rushing to finish it during the passing period before school started. While it didn't make a huge difference in my grades, you could tell what parts I'd had to rush through.

In this case, with Brian obviously under a lot of stress, I think the thing is to give him a break, and see if he can explain what the problem is. Maybe he needs more physical activity or a longer break before he's detoxed enough to do homework. Obviously my new idea hasn't helped, and I don't think I can punish him for that.


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Iconoclast

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Trailboss
I will deal with Brian's procrastination issue Tomorrow! (Just who do you think Brian got his procrastination trait from?!)

Iconoclast

StevieWeeks

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Trailboss
SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!
SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!!!!
SMACK THAT BOOTY!!

OH YEAH!!!

David M. Katz

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Marshall
Iconoclast wrote:I will deal with Brian's procrastination issue Tomorrow!  (Just who do you think Brian got his procrastination trait from?!)

Iconoclast

I love this! Razz Razz Razz


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kalico

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Sherrif
I'm in with Ivor after I have made sure he is not sick or upset .....

Our high school has gone to the same route that Katz has... They haven't exactly said they won't asign homework but it is not an everyday thing unless you don't finish... I think might have realized they were putting to much stress onto them...

I am a total procrastinator... I wasn't quite as bad as jack with doing between classes but I so would wait till last minute if I could... So this ones kinda hard


Hugs kal

Kat

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Editor Extraordinaire
Schools don't assign homework because they're resigned to the reality of how few kids do it. Some have legitimate reasons not to, while others are just sheer bone lazy.

Kat

AFinch

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Sherrif
Allow me to refer you all to the 2006 film "Idiocracy". I rewatched it last week. I didn't find it a bit funny--we are nearly there. DMK's narrative of the state of homework in schools today isn't reassuring to me.

MemoryMan

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Sherrif
Since he's sat there for so long when he could have been free I have to ask "Is he procrastinating? - or is he finding himself out of his depth and not admitting it?

I strongly suspect that the tears are of frustration and my first step is to get to the bottom of the problem of the problem rather than take arbitrary punitive action.

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