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BOTD - 11-24-2016 Who's decision is it anyway?

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Skater


Bransom Postmaster
Who's Decision is it anyway?



You've always encouraged you son to be accountable and to make good decisions. Well it's the day before thanksgiving and some of your family is in town. Your fourteen year old son Dylan has always said he prefers to go over your knee for a paddling when he needs to be punished. In the past you have offered him the chance to take a grounding instead. He has never taken you up on it.

The out of town "family" includes so slightly older cousins that Dylan has always looked up to. Well Dylan has done something that means he is to take a paddling tonight when you get home. Of course you will do it in private but Dylan is afraid his cousins won't think he's "cool" if he gets spanked tonight. He wants to be grounded starting right now.

Do you allow this?

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Pi Beta


Deputy
"Sorry, Dylan; the time to discuss a change of punishment regime is before you do something to warrant it - not afterwards."

John Boy


Sherrif
We will find the most private place in the house, maybe the garage, but We have too many plans to ground you right now.

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kalico


Sherrif
Ditto PI and JB ....
I'll also point out that if I ground him he would not be able to be included in any family fun as he would be in his room ... so what the older cousins would think wouldn't matter as he wouldn't be seeing them

Sorry kiddo let's go find a VERY private place and deal with this...


Hugs kal

David M. Katz


Marshall
Pi = Yep
JB = Yep
Kal = Yep

It is unanamous so far.


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StevieWeeks


Trailboss
Oh gee, what a coincidence!!!

Stevie has just finished building a special grounding room in the basement...

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Notice the delicious Thanksgiving rat for Dylan to eat instead of that yucky turkey and all...

Stevie Twisted Evil

Padraig


Trailboss
I understand that his 'streetcred' is very important for Dylan and he has brought up his request respectfully. If there is no way to hide his spanking oder delay it till the visit is over we will negotiate a solution (maybe loss of privilegs etc). Grounding during a family event just isn't practical.

Adric


Kid
David M. Katz wrote:Pi = Yep
JB = Yep
Kal = Yep

It is unanamous so far.

I agree the grounding isn't practical, and the cousins don't have to know what happens to Dylan.  We'll get in the car and I'll find a private place in the great outdoors if I have to.  If the cousins find out what happened, it will only be because Dylan told them.  If they ask Dylan how he was punished he can just tell them that's a private matter between him and me.

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18Smacked


Wrangler
Adric wrote:
David M. Katz wrote:Pi = Yep
JB = Yep
Kal = Yep

It is unanamous so far.

I agree the grounding isn't practical, and the cousins don't have to know what happens to Dylan.  We'll get in the car and I'll find a private place in the great outdoors if I have to.  If the cousins find out what happened, it will only be because Dylan told them.  If they ask Dylan how he was punished he can just tell them that's a private matter between him and me.

I have never advocating a child (of any age) being allowed to choose his own punishment. Yes, as they get older, they may have input, but ultimately, it will be my decision as to what I decide will be the punishment.

I like Adric's idea of taking my son for a drive and finding a quiet spot in the woods that will not remain quiet for long. A spanking is appropriate, and it will be his decision what he tells his cousins.

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Kat


Editor Extraordinaire
I'm with Padraig this time. I also think it would be difficult to hide this sort of punishment. I'm sure Dylan is resilient, but there are limits to how well someone can hide some of the telltale signs.

Kat

AFinch


Sherrif
I'm with Kat, who's with Padraig. I think the punishment can be delayed.

ivor


Marshall
I'm with the procrastinators Smile

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Jack


Admin
I've read this a couple of times, and I think I'm a bit confused. It says 'when we get home' he'd be paddled. Do we have family staying with us? In that case, I would understand, because having someone over hear it (even possibly) would be crushing to his ego (especially if he's an only child).

One thing I've learned over the years is that, as tempting as it is, I do not have to pick up every gauntlet thrown down, and some things that might seem like a red flag to me, really aren't meant that way. I'm just going to say 'uh-huh', and let it go. He can feel better about himself 'knowing' that he won't be paddled, and we can discuss the issue later, when there isn't family around.

One caveat is that it depends on how serious the issue, but since the paddling was going to wait until we got home, I'm going to assume it's not a huge deal, though to big (or too often repeated) to just let slide.


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squarecutter


Sherrif
Dylan will have to take his licks. I think we have to confine the other kids in front of the tv an take Dylan as far from there as possibleand take care of things. Garage, garden shed. Room the other end of the house.In any cas whether Dylan gets spanked or grounded wont make much difference to how he is viewed by the cousins.

db105


Trailboss
I'm willing to work with Dylan here to punish him in a way that doesn't humiliate him.

Is there a way to spank him without his cousins knowing?

Also, in the past I have offered him the chance to take a grounding instead and he wants a grounding, so... have I any reason not to do so this time? Dylan is old enough to be understand a grounding even if it has to be delayed till after the holiday for practical reasons so as not to spoil the family's holiday. The same goes for a spanking. It could be delayed if strictly necessary.

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