Bransom, TX

a discussion place for our web site


You are not connected. Please login or register

1/9/17 - Paying for Himself

View previous topic View next topic Go down  Message [Page 1 of 1]

1 1/9/17 - Paying for Himself on Sun Jan 08, 2017 4:53 pm

Jack

avatar
Admin
This is Bradley. Bradley is 17. You've known Bradley for a long time now.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

Bradley used to be a very regular at your house, but he's been a bit less of a common sight for the last year or so. However, when Josh, who is a college freshman, gets his old gaming group together, Bradley is part of it.

Bradley seems different to you though, and not in a good way. He is a year younger than all the other boys, so you think maybe it's just senioritis or something. Besides Josh, Bradley is also friends, though not as close, with your own high school senior, Bryce. You notice, when Bryce and some of his same age friends start talking about college, Bradley gets quiet (which is very unusual for him) and seems a bit upset.

Bradley has always been affectionate, but he seems different about that tonight as well. Besides greeting you with a hug (not uncommon), he has tended to stay close to you. You're in the living room, and the boys Josh invited are there as well, making characters for the role playing game they have coming, using your wisdom and experience (and role playing books) to help speed things along. Bradley has actually been sitting on the floor, directly in front of you, sometimes leaning back against your leg.

When the older boys start talking about the different universities they're attending, Bradley seems to stiffen up and get very quiet, so you take him aside to talk to him. Reluctantly, he admits that he's not going to college. When he wanted to take the SAT, his father told him they weren't wasting money on that, because Bradley 'wasn't smart enough for college.'

That makes you see red. Bradley actually always seemed like a relatively intelligent kid to you. He's a reader, and a chess player, and you've had discussions with him, and he seems to have a decent breadth of knowledge. Even without those things, that seems like a horrible thing to tell a kid.

You talk to Bradley a bit, and learn he knows he codes to view his grades, so you call them up. Rather than a 'distinguished' graduation path, Bradley is just taking the 'recommended' load (which isn't a huge difference). He maintained As and Bs throughout his first three years and the first six weeks of this semester, but then he dropped to mostly Bs and a couple of Cs the second six weeks. Suddenly, the final six weeks in this semester is horrible, with an A in ROTC, a B in English, and almost everything is he's failing. A bit more checking reveals his test scores are okay, but he has a huge amount of incomplete work.

You turn around and unload on him. You start by saying you ought to blister his butt, that there's no excuse for something like this, and then you go on to how irresponsible it is, and how he's letting himself down.

You stop, feeling like a complete ass, when Bradley bursts into tears.

You apologize, and he allows you to hold him while he gets himself under control.

The two of you come up with a plan to deal with things. While his dad has no interest in helping him, he thinks his mom might, so you write a letter to her, and a more extensive e-mail, outlining your plan to help him. When the work is done, and you have to wait on his mom's response, you tell him to go rejoin his friends and finish work on his character. While the school work is important, you also feel it's important for him to reconnect with his friends.

He starts to go, then turns back to you.

"I'm sorry," he tells you. "You're right. I de... deserve a whupping."

You apologize again, explaining that you were just shocked and disappointed, but that you don't think it will help anything, then you take him back to the living room.



The next day - Thursday - you have an answer from his mom, and you're e-mailing a lot of his teachers. He's catching up on missed homework, and studying for finals (which are less than a week away now). The day after that, he's supposed to join Josh and their friends for some role playing that evening, but he comes to your house right after school and asks to talk to you privately.

"I thought about it, but I still think you were right. I knew what I was supposed to do, and I didn't do it. I feel really bad, and you're having to do all this extra work. I know I mostly screwed myself, but I do think I should get a whupping for it."

For the record, it absolutely doesn't seem like he's excited about the idea. You have whupped him before, and you're positive he didn't like it. Further, when your older kids get out of line, you tend to give them school type punishments as consequences. Every once in a while, when they do something especially immature, you put them back over your lap for an old fashioned spanking.

So, does Bradley have consequences coming? Since he 'screwed' himself, are you going to suggest he spank himself as well? Or should you try to talk him out of this and help him move on?


_________________
"In the end, it's just a story. But if you ask me, it's all true."
http://bransomtx.forumotion.net

2 Re: 1/9/17 - Paying for Himself on Sun Jan 08, 2017 5:06 pm

AFinch

avatar
Sherrif
Trying again. Attempt one was lost to the ethernet. It's so nice living in a place that has worse than third world internet.

If taking a whupping will somehow relieve Bradley's guilt, I'll oblige him. I don't really think it will help. More importantly, if I were 17, and had been told I "wasn't smart enough for college", and believing I wasn't going to be able to attend, even with straight A's, I'd have likely done the same thing. I mean, really, work is not its own reward. Since it appears his mom is willing to work with Jack, formulating a plan for him to bring his grades up, take the SATs, and go to college, be it community college initially and subsequent transfer or going straight to a four year program, is the most important part here. I don't know what Texas is like, but in the places I've lived, nowadays, one pretty much needs a bachelor's degree even for a fast food job--his father sounds despicable to me.

3 Re: 1/9/17 - Paying for Himself on Sun Jan 08, 2017 8:11 pm

18Smacked

avatar
Cowboy
Sadly, the one who really deserves a spanking here are Bradley's parents, particularly his dad for beating down his son's spirit. His mother was, at least for a while, an accessory to the process too, but at least now, that has been corrected. I understand and sympathize how the boy felt discouraged to such a degree that he felt there was no real point to working hard at his school work, or in taking the "distinguished" graduation path.

Fortunately, proper corrections seem to have been made, at least to the extent that is possible at this point to have the boy on track to get the education that he will need to maximize his potential in the modern world. But, it does appear  that his own self-esteem seems to still be lacking. I think that he will need a continued chorus of encouragement from his peers (old and new), from me, his mom and, ultimately (hopefully) from his dad.

I am not sure to what extent a spanking at this point will truly help him. I think what he needs most of all is to be on the path of success and prove to himself that he can do it. It is so sad that his dad has affected his self-esteem so badly. However, even though I doubt that any spanking will actually reset Bradley's emotional state to the degree he truly needs, I will reluctantly spank him, if he really insists upon it. I will not make it a killer, though; only enough to be sure that he will feel that he has really been spanked, and won't come rushing back for a repeat session. Then, I will give him a booster shot of reassurance that he is now on the proper path for his future success, and that he can, and will succeed in this effort. Before he leaves, I will set up a date for him to return to see me, so I can give appropriate follow-up messages, and make sure he also gets them from his peers.

http://www.malespank.net/listAuthor.php?author=18Smacked

4 Re: 1/9/17 - Paying for Himself on Sun Jan 08, 2017 9:28 pm

Kat

avatar
Editor Extraordinaire
Bradley doesn't need a whipping. He needs to get to work. I'm prepared to make a deal with him: if he slacks, I'll mete out the punishment.

Kat

5 Re: 1/9/17 - Paying for Himself on Sun Jan 08, 2017 11:55 pm

squarecutter

avatar
Sherrif
So did his Dad say that to him when his grades started dipping or before and why destroy a kid like that. I could easily see a kid going what the hell with that kind of motivation or is it a reaction to the poor grades. Bradley certainly needs a kickstart but if a whipping is needed it isnt coming from me. Moreover Bradley seems pretty beat up about this already.

It seems to me that if Dad isnt helping the motivation should come from within as indeed it seems to have done and I think I am better able to help by trying to build Bradley up again since my original tirade has done the trick.

Someome screwed Bradley but he didnt do it to himself . He reacted exactly as a hurt kid would do

6 Re: 1/9/17 - Paying for Himself on Mon Jan 09, 2017 12:11 am

David M. Katz

avatar
Marshall
I agree with the gist of all of the answers. I think Kat found the right answer -I'll make a deal for a whuppin' if Bradley fails to perform to his best potential in the future.

I also think I need to offer to house the boy at my place. Surely one more won't hurt. I can keep better track of him and surround him with the encouragement he needs. I doubt Dad will care where the boy lives and Mom seems to be on board with helping Bradley.


_________________
Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.
http://www.malespank.net/listAuthor.php?author=David+M.+Katz

7 Re: 1/9/17 - Paying for Himself on Mon Jan 09, 2017 2:59 am

ivor

avatar
Marshall
I'm lining up behind Kat.

http://www.malespank.net/listAuthor.php?author=Ivor+slipper

8 Re: 1/9/17 - Paying for Himself on Mon Jan 09, 2017 4:16 am

Jack

avatar
Admin
I'm not going to answer yet, but I did want to respond to this.

squarecutter wrote:So did his Dad say that to him when his grades started dipping ... I could easily see a kid going what the hell with that kind of motivation or is it a reaction to the poor grades.

This is what comes of assumptions.

The SAT dates in fall of a (senior) year are usually the first weekend of October, November, and December, with registration deadlines a month prior. With the holidays delaying things, the six week period which is finishing this week (and concluding the semester) started on 14 November. While I don't know which test Bradley tried to take, it looks like it would be impossible for his dad to have reacted to the bad grades - I think the bad grades have to have come as a reaction to Dad's pronouncement (or at least after the pronouncement, I suppose I should say).


_________________
"In the end, it's just a story. But if you ask me, it's all true."
http://bransomtx.forumotion.net

9 Re: 1/9/17 - Paying for Himself on Mon Jan 09, 2017 5:33 am

Pi Beta

avatar
RIP 9 Jan 47 - 17 June 17
To me, it seems that the last thing he needs is anything that can be seen as a punishment. I don't really understand why the threat was made that has resulted in him now claiming thet he needs to be punished for slacking. By all means promise punishment for future slacking, if that will motivate him but now he needs positive not negative encouragement.

10 Re: 1/9/17 - Paying for Himself on Mon Jan 09, 2017 9:01 am

squarecutter

avatar
Sherrif
Jack wrote:I'm not going to answer yet, but I did want to respond to this.

squarecutter wrote:So did his Dad say that to him when his grades started dipping ... I could easily see a kid going what the hell with that kind of motivation or is it a reaction to the poor grades.

This is what comes of assumptions.

The SAT dates in fall of a (senior) year are usually the first weekend of October, November, and December, with registration deadlines a month prior.  With the holidays delaying things, the six week period which is finishing this week (and concluding the semester) started on 14 November.  While I don't know which test Bradley tried to take, it looks like it would be impossible for his dad to have reacted to the bad grades - I think the bad grades have to have come as a reaction to Dad's pronouncement (or at least after the pronouncement, I suppose I should say).  

Which makes Dad look a right pig. I know little of the system but surely it is the teachers who who would have a better idea of Bradleys capabilities. Is there something else playing into his, (the Dads) attitude

11 Re: 1/9/17 - Paying for Himself on Mon Jan 09, 2017 5:45 pm

Jack

avatar
Admin
I am trying to write a more detailed explanation of what happened in this case (something some of you might call 'a story'). If I don't have it finished soon, I'll give more details here. However, there was something I wanted to answer.

Pi Beta wrote:I don't really understand why the threat was made that has resulted in him now claiming thet he needs to be punished for slacking.

This, and something (I think) Kier said, suggested that I point out that Bradley is a senior, but he still needs a number of credits to graduate. By blowing off this six weeks (which suggests he might not do great on the finals), he's jeopardizing his chance to graduate. While I understand the reason a person might react like Bradley did, I feel perfectly justified in reacting as I did when I saw that he basically even quit trying. Of course, as I said, as soon as I saw how he reacted to my anger/upset, I felt horrible about it, but that doesn't mean the reaction was wrong - only expressed badly.


_________________
"In the end, it's just a story. But if you ask me, it's all true."
http://bransomtx.forumotion.net

12 Re: 1/9/17 - Paying for Himself on Thu Feb 23, 2017 10:49 pm

LLALVA

avatar
Trailboss
I wonder, how is Bradley's story is going?

I love you

Leti

13 Re: 1/9/17 - Paying for Himself on Fri Feb 24, 2017 4:40 am

Jack

avatar
Admin
LLALVA wrote:I wonder, how is Bradley's story is going?

I love you

Leti

I'm about 85 or 90% finished, and I did work on it yesterday. The main problem is, after the incredibly crazy January I had (and it looks like I'm still not back to my old schedule, though things have settled down a lot), I'm still not really back in the writing habit, and am also having to split the spare time I do have to write between several projects (such as keeping the forum updated).

I am almost certain to have some quiet time this weekend, and I hope to have the story to my editor soon.


_________________
"In the end, it's just a story. But if you ask me, it's all true."
http://bransomtx.forumotion.net

14 Re: 1/9/17 - Paying for Himself on Fri Feb 24, 2017 8:32 am

MemoryMan

avatar
Sherrif
Some dads are arseholes; but if Brad really feels he needs a whupping to make him feel better about himself and his reaction to adversity and (possibly) give him an incentive to keep his nose to the grindstone then he can have one.  Thereafter there will be nothing on the table but encouragement and support.

http://www.malespank.net/listAuthor.php?author=MemoryMan

15 Re: 1/9/17 - Paying for Himself on Wed Mar 01, 2017 4:24 pm

Jack

avatar
Admin
After a delay of only six weeks or so, the answer to this can be found at Bradley Eazersky is Paying For Himself.


_________________
"In the end, it's just a story. But if you ask me, it's all true."
http://bransomtx.forumotion.net

Sponsored content


View previous topic View next topic Back to top  Message [Page 1 of 1]

Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum