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BOTD 02-02-2017 Defiant Dexter - A DMK Production

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A DMK Production

Your eleven-year old son, Dexter has earned a spanking.

You and Dexter have a long-established procedure.  He is to go to the den and close the door.  Dexter is then supposed to lower his pants and underwear and bend over a stool that you keep in the den.  You then come in and take care of the spanking.

You have already discussed the issue with Dexter and he agrees he was in the wrong and that he knows this warrants a spanking.  You send him to get ready.

You walk in to the den with brush in hand and see:

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Dexter is not ready and he tells you he is not going to get ready.  He says he has decided he isn't going to take a spanking.

What do you do?

Last edited by David M. Katz on Wed Feb 01, 2017 6:30 pm; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : Date correction)

Can you dig it?


First I'll tell him that his spanking will be a lot worse if I have to remove his pants and underwear for him and suggest that he'll be a lot happier if he does it himself the way he is supposed to.  If that doesn't convince him, I'll remove his clothes and give him the deluxe version of his spanking.

After he has recovered we'll have a talk and I will ask him why he thought it would be a good idea to disobey me.


This is serious, but I won't fight with him to get his clothes off. Either he submits to his punishment or he does not. In the latter case, I will remove all his toys from his room and he will be grounded indefinitely until he accepts his spanking. I have time and am sure that in due time, he will regret defying me.


When I was 10 or 11 years old,  determined that my dad was not going to be able to take my underwear down; I held onto the waistband for dear life. He then pulled on the hem of the underwear, until I was left holding onto the waistband only. That was the end result and I did indeed get the spanking my dad decided I was going to get. In fact, I probably made him madder, and ended up getting it worse than I might have gotten had I cooperated.

In this case, I would try to calmly sit with Dexter and ask why he has decided this at this time. I will again calmly explain why the spanking is due. I will tell him that he has until I count to ten to get his pants and underwear off. If this does not happen, then he will force me to take them off and he will like what happens even less than if he does it himself.

If I do have to take his pants and underwear off, I would spank him the amount he would have gotten and then announce "We would be finished now, Dexter, if you had cooperated. However, since you did not, you are getting this extra amount of spanking…." And, then I would spank him a "penalty amount" more. I might also use a hairbrush for the penalty spanking part.

Y Lee Coyote

Violence, threats and addition punishments are most inappropriate for a first reaction and the planned spanking certainly can wait.

It is surely discussion time.  Young Mr. Dexter has something going on in his head and I have to find out what.  I doubt that there is anything more important or urgent except, say, than to get out because the house is on fire.

It is impossible to make any rational decision without knowing what he is thinking and why.



This one is a bit older, but...


I'm going to tell him the time to negotiate is beforehand, not in the moment. I will listen to what he has to say. He agreed he deserved to be punished per the scenario, and he's not going to get off scot free.

I'm not going to wrestle with him. He can submit to the spanking, or, like Beaver, he will be grounded--no toys, no electronics, no friends, no nothing. He can stay in his room except for bathroom, meals, and school. In short order, I think he'll rethink his stance, and if he doesn't, that's his choice.


18Smacked wrote:I will tell him that he has until I count to ten to get his pants and underwear off. If this does not happen, then he will force me to take them off and he will like what happens even less than if he does it himself.

That sounds like a good approach.  The count-to-ten system used to work very well on me.  I never wanted to find out what happens after ten.

After the spanking is over with I will still have that talk with Dexter, to ask him why he thought it would be a good idea to disobey me.


As he is only eleven I could use force, but would that convey the right message?

He appears to have initially accepted that he was going to be spanked and then changed his mind when he got to the den? I need to get to the bottom of that before I get to his bottom.


The question here is whether you are going to negotiate or take control. Punishment ought not really be a matter for negotiation, so I would go for taking control. Given the punishment history, I would put Dexter over the stool and give him a good spanking. I would then stand him up and say: "That was for not getting ready. Now get ready like you always do. If you do not, you'll get another spanking just like that one and we'll carry on until you get over the stool with your pants and underwear down."

If he gets over the stool as he normally does, I would say: "Your proper spanking is postponed until tomorrow. I don't expect any nonsense tomorrow."

If he is still defiant he would get another session. If he then complies see previous paragraph. Continued defiance is met with: "We'll carry on like this tomorrow and as long as we need to."

If Dexter turns out to be strong willed there is a problem as continuing with daily spankings is not on. I think I would conclude that for Dexter spanking is no longer an effective punishment.


I could wrestle him but I think it would be counter-productive before I listen to what he has to say. Is it fear? Does he think he's getting to old and would like to try being grounded which Iwill promise him will be as real a punishment as spanking especially once hes sampled as few days of confinement to his room without tv, electronic toys or friends or dare siblings to talk to.It will also irk the jai -er- parents who will have to enforce it. I will hear him out before deciding whether to wear him out


------he agrees he was in the wrong and that he knows this warrants a spanking.------- but it seems that he didn't actually agree to it before I arbitrarily ordered him into the spanking room.

We can talk some more about it and I will listen and reason with him but since we've come so far down the road it will happen, ..... unless he can come up with a compelling reason for me to abort it.

Whatever the offence it has been compounded by defiance, and if after talking it through, he still refuses to co-operate he will be confined to that room, without distractions to think about it, knowing that the longer it takes before he decides to co-operates the greater will be the severity of his punishment.

He can call me when he's ready, and I'll give him an hour or two before I return to forcibly bare him and lock him across my knees for his first experience of leather.


"And what makes you think you get to make that decision?"

In a way, this reminds me of when I was a little younger than Dex, and I'd tell my mom I was sorry, and ask her please not to spank me, and she'd STILL do it, and I could never understand why she wouldn't listen. This might just be his attempt to get out of something that he knows will be very unpleasant.

I'm willing to listen to his reasoning, explain why I spank, and discuss why I prefer it to other methods. It sounds like the problem isn't with this particular offense (he already admitted he was wrong), but about the actual consequence. I will discuss things, and even consider trying other options in the future, but I don't really see anything changing what's about to happen (unless he happened to get stung on the butt between the living room and his bedroom, I suppose).

"In the end, it's just a story. But if you ask me, it's all true."

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