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BOTD 2-4-17 "Gym Swats" A mahoover Production

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1 BOTD 2-4-17 "Gym Swats" A mahoover Production on Fri Feb 03, 2017 3:37 pm

David M. Katz

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Marshall


Gym swats
A mahoover Production

Your 14 year old son Jake started 9th grade this year.  In the past, while there have been occasions that when he got in trouble at school that you reinforced his punishment at home, you normally let the school handle issues that come up at school.

Jake - 14
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Today Jake brought home a note from his PE teacher for you to sign.  He got two swats for not having his gym clothes for the third time this quarter.  When you talk with Jake you ask him why he is having trouble remembering to bring his gym clothes.  He hems and haws and says he doesn't know.  From how he is reacting, you know that something more is up.  After you continue to talk with him, you find out that high school is the first time he has had to shower at school, and if he doesn't have gym clothes he doesn't participate in class so he doesn't have to take a shower.  You went to this school when you were a teenager, and you know that it has a "gang" shower that everyone shares.  As you talk with him you find out that the other boys are teasing him because he was not circumcised as a baby.  He is embarrassed that he is different from the rest of his classmates, and asks to be circumcised.

Do you reinforce at home?
Do you make a doctor's appointment for him?


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Y Lee Coyote

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Neither option is valid.

Is there a difference between teasing and bullying beside one is seven letter and the other eight letters.  He is a victim of prejudice.

This requires an immediate visit with the principal to deal with this issue of misconduct in the student body.  Obviously better supervision is required in the showers and locker room.

Y,

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AFinch

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Sherrif
Once again, I'm going to agree with Y Lee.

While there are good reasons for circumcision, preventing teasing/bullying from classmates isn't one of them. I'm not going to reinforce at home, and I AM going to speak to the principal and gym teachers.

Jack

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I am really kind of upset with the PE teacher for punishing the victim here, though I can understand how it happened.

It's kind of funny, because most of the Caucasian boys around here seem to be circumcised, which means a majority (but not a huge majority) of the boys, yet I've never heard of Van (or Mickey) having trouble because of it. I'll have to ask.

In the meantime, I think Y Lee said everything pretty well.

While the bullying does need to end, I will tell Jake that studies seem to suggest that uncut penises are more sensitive, so really they're just giving him a hard time because they're jealous.


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18Smacked

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When I was in Jr. H.S. we first started taking showers and, of course, undressing for that. It was a rare kid who was not circumcised, but we did not ever even comment about that; other than "sneaking a peek" out of curiosity.

In any case, I agree with YLee but also agree with Jack that the PE teacher cannot merely duck into the office after gym class; if there is teasing or bullying going on- he needs to be present in the shower area to prevent that, and react if it is noted.

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Iconoclast

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Jack wrote:I am really kind of upset with the PE teacher for punishing the victim here, though I can understand how it happened.  

It's kind of funny, because most of the Caucasian boys around here seem to be circumcised, which means a majority (but not a huge majority) of the boys, yet I've never heard of Van (or Mickey) having trouble because of it.  I'll have to ask.

In the meantime, I think Y Lee said everything pretty well.  

While the bullying does need to end, I will tell Jake that studies seem to suggest that uncut penises are more sensitive, so really they're just giving him a hard time because they're jealous.

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Adric

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Cowboy
David M. Katz wrote:Do you reinforce at home?

No - licks in P.E. were often for very minor offenses, usually not for anything that called for reinforcement.

David M. Katz wrote:Do you make a doctor's appointment for him?

That is a complicated question.  An appointment with an unbiased health professional seems like a very good idea because Jake is not pleased with his body.  Regardless of whether there were actually any teasing or bullying going on, it is quite possible for him to feel very uncomfortable just because he knows he is different.  That is not necessarily a good reason to get circumcised, but there may be good reasons.  It should be a very informed decision by the person who is going to have to live with the result, and Jake needs to hear all the reasons, pro and con.

I never saw a boy my age in the shower who was uncut (and yeah, I looked).  I was certainly glad that I looked like all those other boys in that respect.  On the other hand, I know that there are many older cut guys who try all kinds of "body modification" solutions aimed at making themselves appear to be uncut.  Every guy should be allowed and encouraged to make an informed decision for himself.  It is much easier to cut it off than to replace it, and that in itself is a reason to hesitate before going under the knife.

As for the reported teasing/bullying, I would like to hear from Jake whether he really wants me to concern myself with that issue and with the licks he received.  I would not be surprised if he doesn't want me to get involved and make waves.  (I would not have wanted my dad to get involved.)

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ivor

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Marshall
Nothing to add to YLC in the circumstances.

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Jack

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Admin
Adric wrote:I never saw a boy my age in the shower who was uncut (and yeah, I looked).  I was certainly glad that I looked like all those other boys in that respect.  On the other hand, I know that there are many older cut guys who try all kinds of "body modification" solutions aimed at making themselves appear to be uncut.  Every guy should be allowed and encouraged to make an informed decision for himself.  It is much easier to cut it off than to replace it, and that in itself is a reason to hesitate before going under the knife.

I was an early bloomer. Despite the fact that every boy I saw in my various gym classes were circumcised, I felt very uncomfortable in seventh grade, because I looked so much different than my friends (though being well-hung should have been a plus, not a minus - I just hated standing out).

The other consideration is that I don't allow my boys to have tats or any kind of piercing (except ears) before they're 18, and I think I'd treat this the same way. I'm pretty sure that 'act in haste, regret in leisure' is the right idea.

For the record, we thought Van was going to need to be circumcised. When Van was in early grade school, he tried to pull his foreskin back, and got a small tear. Dr. Sammy treated that, but Van had recurring infections. They weren't frequent, but after the third or fourth one, Sammy and I discussed circumcision as a way to deal with them, but they seemed to stop at that point, so it never happened.


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Adric

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Jack wrote:I was an early bloomer.  Despite the fact that every boy I saw in my various gym classes were circumcised, I felt very uncomfortable in seventh grade, because I looked so much different than my friends (though being well-hung should have been a plus, not a minus - I just hated standing out).

I had the same problem but for a different reason - I flunked the first grade.  That made me about a year older than the other boys in my gym classes, and a year can make a big difference.  There was no one at the time to convince me that bigger was better, and being too big already while always on the verge of suddenly getting even bigger made me very uncomfortable.  I think if I had to deal with the additional burden of a foreskin that no one else had I would have been really miserable.

So I'm sympathetic to Jake's problem, and I think it could help him to talk with someone professionally who knows how to relieve his anxiety about being different.



Last edited by Adric on Sun Feb 05, 2017 9:11 am; edited 1 time in total

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MemoryMan

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Sherrif
Ill go with Jack

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mahoover

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Cowboy
I agree with Adric. The most important thing to do is to talk to Jack and see what he wants. If he wants me to get involved I will, but I bet he won't want me making waves.

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