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BOTD Extra (3/1/17): Skipping Class?

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1 BOTD Extra (3/1/17): Skipping Class? on Wed Mar 01, 2017 4:23 am

Jack

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Admin
Your (newly) 15-year old son, Van, has a special educational situation at school.

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Van attends a private school. He is a gifted piano player. You considered sending him to a performing arts school, but decided against it, both because he isn't positive what he wants to do with his life, and because he just couldn't stand the thought of being separated from his animals. Instead, you made special arrangements at the school he already attended.

During the morning, Van has normal school, taking science, math, PE, and band. After that, he has private piano instruction, some practice time, and then he goes to the library to do online work for English and Geography. Van is normally fairly responsible, and he kept up with everything his first semester.

He's been slipping a bit this semester though. At the end of the first six weeks, he's managed to get a full week behind in both online classes. The school administrator talks to you, then you talk to Van.

You have a few ideas of how to handle things, but today is Van's birthday, so you decide it can wait until tomorrow. Instead, he comes to you around bedtime and wants to talk.

Van is supposed to be doing four units in each online class every week. He suggests that he have to do five classes in each until he gets a week ahead and that he be on zero tolerance until he reaches that point (meaning if he misses any assignment, instead of just a 'strike' on his homework folder, he gets swats). He also suggests that, since Spring Break is coming up in less than two weeks, he be grounded each morning, until he's taken care of his chores, his piano practice, and the lessons for that day, and that should be all week, even if he gets caught up to the goal point. Finally, he suggests that he be on daily homework folder checks the rest of the year, with progressing paddlings for the rest of the year, instead of resetting each six weeks.

That's actually stricter then you'd intended, so you decide to accept it, with the idea that you can always ease off or make exceptions once he's proved himself.

After you agree to that, Van looks at you nervously, then looks away.

"I know that not doing my classes was kind of like skipping, even though I was still there. Do I need to pick a switch, or will you use the brush?"

For reference, you and his principal had already decided no official action was required for this, as long as he got back on track. You hadn't thought he needed physical punishment, as long as he repaired the problem. Does the fact that he seems to disagree with you effect your decision


For Reference:


I posted the set up to this in more detail in Van's Bio, if you're interested.


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2 Re: BOTD Extra (3/1/17): Skipping Class? on Wed Mar 01, 2017 12:12 pm

David M. Katz

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Marshall
No, I see no reason for any spanking right now.

Van understands the issue and there is an agreeable plan for correcting it.

As for me, I DO NOT see this as the same thing as skipping. He was still at school, accountable to the school and his whereabouts were known.

If Van thinks he needs some sort of spanking to clear the air or the feel better then he'll slip up on one of the commitments (accidentally on purpose) and earn one.


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3 Re: BOTD Extra (3/1/17): Skipping Class? on Wed Mar 01, 2017 1:16 pm

AFinch

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Sherrif
I agree with DMK. I think this is an issue that needed to be "headed off at the pass", and it has been before any damage has been done.

Unless Van insists on CP now, I think it can be held in abeyance according to his well-reasoned plan.

4 Re: BOTD Extra (3/1/17): Skipping Class? on Wed Mar 01, 2017 1:20 pm

Pi Beta

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RIP 9 Jan 47 - 17 June 17
He seems to accept he's messed up but been open about it. No punishment needed now since he's been honest with you and the school

5 Re: BOTD Extra (3/1/17): Skipping Class? on Wed Mar 01, 2017 4:24 pm

kalico

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Sherrif
Dittoing those before me......




Hugs kal

6 Re: BOTD Extra (3/1/17): Skipping Class? on Thu Mar 02, 2017 5:36 am

MemoryMan

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Sherrif
He seems to have made a good fist of problem solving for the future.

I'll just agree his proposal and ask him what he thinks he needs at present.

http://www.malespank.net/listAuthor.php?author=MemoryMan

7 Re: BOTD Extra (3/1/17): Skipping Class? on Thu Mar 02, 2017 8:24 am

db105

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Trailboss
I also don't see the need for a spanking right now. There's been no skipping school, just shirking some work, and the issue has been identified and it's being solved, with Van's collaboration. Unless he's feeling very bad about it, I'm happy with the change in course.

Also, it's understandable that the time and work pressure is high on him, even if it's because he has wanted it that way. I'd make sure he knows that it would be OK for him to step down from some commitments if they are too much.

http://www.malespank.net/listAuthor.php?author=Danny

8 Re: BOTD Extra (3/1/17): Skipping Class? on Thu Mar 02, 2017 1:29 pm

Jack

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Admin
For the record, while it was left out of this scenario, I mentioned in the related bio post that Mr. P said this was 'kind of like skipping', which is probably from where Van got the idea. I never really thought this warranted a spanking - unless he earns one through the stricter rules. I really should have been paying more attention, but he did such a good job all fall, I just didn't feel it was necessary.

I assured Van that I didn't feel a spanking was required for this, but we did talk a bit more about the details, including deciding on swats.

Let me pause to point out that Van should have 96 (12 weeks, 4 units per week, 2 classes) units to do between (last Monday) and the end of school. Instead, I think he has a total of 109. Just doing 5 a week will take care of that, except there are a few three day weekends, and I think we'll all feel better if he doesn't run it too tight. On the other hand, Spring Break will get him another five ahead. Except that he already has plans for a couple of days on Spring Break that will prevent the 'morning grounding' he had mentioned. While I think he does need to make up for the work he skipped, I don't want him to miss out on things.

Here's what we decided after examining the details:

As he suggested, Van will be on zero tolerance until he gets to the point he should be at. When Spring Break starts (in two weeks) he should be at 76. If he does just the five per class each day, he'll be at 89. If he does the detention Mon thru Fri of Spring Break, then he should be caught up by the end of March. There is some question, because we want him to actually be ten ahead. My suggestion is that we end zero tolerance when he catches up, but he has to work Saturday mornings until he gets ten ahead. He's not crazy about that, but I think he understands why I suggested it. Of course, I'm happy to give him some leeway if something comes up.

Here's the fun part. While discussing swats, we got around to the instrument. I suggested the bath brush. He said I should use the medium Lexan, like I do on 'the other high school guys.' I pointed out that, while he has grown lately, he's just too small for that. (Remember that he's on the massage table, wearing only a towel, while this discussion is ongoing). I ended up going to get the Oval Lexan and my Pauline Betz Jokari paddle. He came into my bedroom, no towel and carrying his shorts, and bent over the chair. I aimed the swats to concentrate on one cheek at a time. He managed to choke back a howl when the Jokari landed, but when he got the swat with the oval Lexan (smaller than the medium), he yowled, then jumped up, rubbing his rear, and complaining about how bad it stung.

So yeah, we're using the small Jokari to start. If he builds up too many, we'll cut the number and use the Lexan instead.

I'm not worried about him getting more than a few swats. What I am worrying about is him overworking himself and stressing out. He would do that and never tell me it was coming, so I have to watch him to see that we can head it off. I know he wants this, and he's mostly doing well, but it's my job to see he doesn't burn himself out trying it.


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9 Re: BOTD Extra (3/1/17): Skipping Class? on Thu Mar 02, 2017 6:44 pm

db105

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Trailboss
Very Happy Van should know better than volunteering for any such tests.

http://www.malespank.net/listAuthor.php?author=Danny

10 Re: BOTD Extra (3/1/17): Skipping Class? on Fri Mar 03, 2017 3:56 am

Jack

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Admin
db105 wrote:Very Happy Van should know better than volunteering for any such tests.

That's the funny thing - two bare swats (mostly with the Lexan, but even with the PB Jokari) would have been punishment for a mild to medium offense, but he was arguing about the paddles and what I'd used on him before, and he volunteered to take the swats, and he was almost laughing about it afterwards.

Oh, and part of the reason we were arguing about the paddles...

Van insisted that I'd used the medium Lexan on him before. I was positive that I hadn't, and I coudn't remember spanking him with the small Lexan (the brush has been my goto upgrade on him). Leti checked her files for me, and it turns out that I had used the small Lexan, but I'd used it to give him school boy swats. Since he was only 12 at the time, that's probably why he thought it was the bigger paddle.


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