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BOTD 3/19/17 "What Sammy Said" A jack Production

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David M. Katz

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Marshall
WHAT SAMMY SAID
A Jack Production


You have four children - two of your own and two step-children.  When you combined families, it was agreed that you would handle the discipline issues.

Three of the boys are within about 27 months of each other - from 10 to 12.  And then there's Eddy.


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Eddy is 15 now, and a really good kid.  While all three of the other boys have made many trips over your lap in the two years the family has been together, Eddy has just never needed it.  He's a great, well-behaved kid, and when he did screw up, usually just a talk and maybe a short restriction handled things.

Until now.

Eddy was at a restaurant with a couple of his friends.  None of them had any money. The plan was to dine and dash.  The other two boys did manage to get away, but Eddy was stopped before he was able to make it out the door.  The restaurant manager called you.  You picked Eddy up and paid the entire bill.  The ride home was quiet.  You sent him to his room.  You had to think for a while before deciding what to do.

When you went upstairs, Eddy was sitting on the edge of his bed, obviously nervous, but he looked up at you.

"Eddy, you know I'm very disappointed in you.  Since I had to pay the bill, and since you don't have a job, I'm going to give you a list of extra chores to do to pay me back. You'll be expected to keep up with your own chores and homework while you work on those.  You'll be grounded to the house until you finish them, and that means no electronics either."

Saying that, you unplug his computer (which he also uses to watch TV), and take his handheld game system and phone.

"Do you understand everything, have any questions?"

"No, sir," Eddy replied.

Then he stands up and starts undressing.  You don't think too much of it when he takes off his shirt, but then he reaches for his pants.  Since he's usually fairly shy, you're a bit surprised.

"What are you doing?"

Eddy stops, with his belt and top button of his pants undone.

"When you switched Sammy for shoplifting a few weeks ago, he said you made him get all the way undressed before he went to pick it.  Don't I have to do that to?"

That is what happened with Sammy... What happens next?


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David M. Katz

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Marshall
I will follow standard procedure with Eddy for a switching if that is what he is choosing. I will talk further with Eddy to make sure he knows what he is getting in to.

If Eddy is switched then I see no reason for him to be grounded.  It is one or the other, not both.  Eddy needs to make a decision.

Eddy still owes me for the check. He can do the chores or pay with a loss of his allowance. Hopefully, after I contact the parents of the other boys, they will reimburse me for their share of the check.


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Adric

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Cowboy
I'm with Dave on this one.

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18Smacked

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Cowboy
I also agree with what Dave wrote, empasizing that I must find out- one way or the other- the names of these other two friends who were involved in this little caper.

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AFinch

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Sherrif
Unanimous so far.

ivor

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Marshall
No dissenting voices.

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MemoryMan

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Sherrif
ditto too.

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Jack

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Admin
(No, this is not based on RL. No, I didn't have a particular answer in mind when I wrote it).

I'm not sure I agree with everyone else on this.

I've already spelled out the terms of Eddy's grounding, and he seems to think a switching is coming in addition to that.

I see this as being one of three things - does he think he's going to get switched as well as grounded because of his age, because he won't reveal who was with him, or is he pushing this a bit because he's the only one of my boys who's never had CP?

Honestly, I have no trouble switching Eddy in addition to the grounding. The simple truth is that Sammy was caught shoplifting, so what he tried to take was probably returned to the shelf, while Eddy not only stole, but put me in a position where I had to buy dinner (whatever) for him and his friends. As much as his friends' parents should be notified, I'm not going to make that a point of confrontation between me and Eddy. He's paying for them through his chores, and he can deal with them as he wants.

I just think we need to be on the same page. He thinks he's getting switched, and we can do that, and the grounding, as long as he understands why. I probably will lighten up on the grounding as soon as he does some of the chores, if he's been switched as well.


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squarecutter

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Sherrif
I think Eddy gets thwe switching . It may be to do with not being wanting
the other boys to sthink hes being treated diffferenly. He will also do more chores to pay off the tab but wont be grounded I dont think he needs to cut a switch in the nude. I n a sense he abased himself already. I will ask the restaurant for a desciption of the other boys and see if I can work out who they were and give their folks a call

db105

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Trailboss
I'm surprised I switched Sammy for shoplifting and I was not going to use CP on Eddy for stealing. Yes, I never did before this, but it's because he never deserved it. Now he does. He'll get a switching but, in attention to his teenage status, he does not need to be naked while he picks the switch.

Regarding the grounding, it's only until he's completed his chores to pay back the cost, so I don't think it's punishing him twice.

If he doesn't want to tell on his friends, I won't force him, but I'll tell him he's working off the whole debt, so maybe his friends should help, if they are good friends.

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Adric

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Cowboy
Rethink:

I say, "What are you doing?"

Eddy says,


David M. Katz wrote:"When you switched Sammy for shoplifting a few weeks ago, he said you made him get all the way undressed before he went to pick it. Don't I have to do that too?"

I say, "Yes, you do, but I'm not ready to deal with that yet.  I'll tell you when it's time for you to go out and cut your switch.  You just stay here and think about what you did while I make up your chore list.

So I leave him stewing in his room while I work up his list.  Then I wait until it is a bit dark outside (if it isn't already) and I return to his room and give him the list.  Then I tell him to take off his clothes and go for the switch, and I tell him what that switch should look like.

Assuming he returns with an acceptable implement, I'll give him his switching.  Later I'll check on his progress with his chores.  If he is making good progress I may relax his grounding a little by giving back some of his electronics.  Then I'll tell him I may give back more things if I see that he is working diligently.  I also tell him that he can get out of doing the extra chores if he comes up with the money to pay for that dinner.

As for the friends, I'll tell him that I'm not going to force him to "name names," but he is still going to have to work off the money they owe for their dinners.  If they are good friends then they ought to pay him the money they owe.

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