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25 March 2017 - Your Wits End

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1 25 March 2017 - Your Wits End on Fri Mar 24, 2017 3:54 pm

Jack

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Admin
You raise foster children - boys - you have a lot of them right now.  Several of them are at that 'wonderful' age where they're old enough to need to show concern about their hygiene, but too young to drive.

Four of those include


Van - 15 (standing) Parker -15 (sitting left), Zeke 19 (sitting middle), and Leif (right) - 13
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Today was your normal shopping day - Thursday AM, when the kids are all at school.  You checked all the lists, wrote down what you could remember people telling you, and picked up a few extras.

Over the evening, Van comes up to complain that you didn't get his hair gel, Parker complains that you didn't get the face soap or body wash that he likes, Zeke says you forgot to get him antiperspirant, and Leif complains about the type of shampoo you got him.

Keep in mind that this hygiene is something you've always supplied for your sons, that none of them are able to drive, and that the grocery store isnt' especially close.  Also keep in mind that all four of them are still subject to corporal punishment.

How do you address their concerns?



Last edited by Jack on Sat Mar 25, 2017 5:27 am; edited 2 times in total


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2 Re: 25 March 2017 - Your Wits End on Fri Mar 24, 2017 4:20 pm

David M. Katz

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Marshall
In the future one of them will go with me as representative of the group. We will rotate this job. Rep is responsible for his and his brothers' list.

In the interim they will make do.


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3 Re: 25 March 2017 - Your Wits End on Fri Mar 24, 2017 4:34 pm

Jack

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David M. Katz wrote:In the future one of them will go with me as representative of the group. We will rotate this job. Rep is responsible for his and his brothers' list.

Sorry - I will change the scenario to represent this, but you go shopping Thursday mornings, when the kids are at school.


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4 Re: 25 March 2017 - Your Wits End on Fri Mar 24, 2017 5:16 pm

StevieWeeks

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Trailboss
Van comes up to complain that you didn't get his hair gel

No boy needs hair gel. It's off the list permanently.

Parker complains that you didn't get the face soap or body wash that he likes.

He can make do with a bar of Ivory soap, or whatever is on sale.

Zeke says you forgot to get him antiperspirant.

This is a legitimate complaint, a post pubertal boy does need deodorant. You will stop by the store tomorrow and buy him whatever is cheapest.

Leif complains about the type of shampoo you got him.

He can make do with what you bought him or buy his own out of his allowance.

These boys need to learn that money doesn't grow on trees..

No punishment is indicated, however, unless they continue with their whining for too long.

5 Re: 25 March 2017 - Your Wits End on Fri Mar 24, 2017 5:33 pm

Y Lee Coyote

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Deputy
Obviously, I’m getting senile not being able to remember what things a whole batch of people told me they need and to remember which brands they require.  The solution to this brand new problem is that there is one master list and everyone adds to the list.  Plus, there has to be an inventory each week for common items.

It would be nice to have a brand list of things so that I can take advantage of sales and buy at lower prices in advance of wailing of “I’ve run out of this absolutely essential item!”

I’m puzzled that the nineteen-year-old can’t drive yet you are far from shopping.  I have trouble with the whole scenario because with in a twelve-minute WALK I have several big box national stories and more national drug stores than I can count.

Y.

P.S.  Life is tough guys -- share and make do until we can go shopping again.

http://www.asstr.org/~YLeeCoyote/

6 Re: 25 March 2017 - Your Wits End on Fri Mar 24, 2017 5:50 pm

18Smacked

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Cowboy
I agree with YLee's master list notion. I also concur in the view that at 19 years of age, driving is typically happening. That boy could make a shopping trip with whomeever cares to go with him to get whatever needs they have, and they can get sufficient supplies for two or three months at a time, thereby eliminating needs to run to the stores on a weekly basis for these things.

http://www.malespank.net/listAuthor.php?author=18Smacked

7 Re: 25 March 2017 - Your Wits End on Fri Mar 24, 2017 5:58 pm

AFinch

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Sherrif
18Smacked wrote:I agree with YLee's master list notion. I also concur in the view that at 19 years of age, driving is typically happening. That boy could make a shopping trip with whomeever cares to go with him to get whatever needs they have, and they can get sufficient supplies for two or three months at a time, thereby eliminating needs to run to the stores on a weekly basis for these things.

"That boy" if you actually follow the list, and not just read an isolated BOTD scenario, is a special case.

Otherwise, I agree that a master list would make everyone's life easier (I use a shopping list on my phone, because I can't even manage for one without forgetting things). If a boy can't be bothered then to make his needs known before shopping day, he can make do with more "generic" products that the ones he especially likes until the next shopping trip.

8 Re: 25 March 2017 - Your Wits End on Fri Mar 24, 2017 6:24 pm

db105

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Trailboss
This doesn't seem a discipline problem. What we need is better communication on this issue. From now on, the boys will be required to give me a written list with what they need, including the brand if it's important. In the meantime we'll decide on a case by case basis how urgent it is to get the required supplies.

http://www.malespank.net/listAuthor.php?author=Danny

9 Re: 25 March 2017 - Your Wits End on Sat Mar 25, 2017 3:25 am

ivor

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Marshall
Provided there is some of the specified items in the house so that no boy has to go without, they can simply make do with using whatever is available until the next shopping trip.

This can be emphasised with a warning that sulking or loud and/or long moans about the temporary lack of their preferred brand will almost certainly lead to them being temporarily branded.

http://www.malespank.net/listAuthor.php?author=Ivor+slipper

10 Re: 25 March 2017 - Your Wits End on Sat Mar 25, 2017 5:26 am

Jack

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Admin
This was not actually written as a serious scenario. While I do have problems of this type, I figured out how to take care of them a long time ago (mostly a combination of Stevie and Y Lee). I do get ticked off at them from time to time (mostly because they'll either tell me something as they run out the door to school Thursday morning and expect me to stop and write it down, while trying to deal with 13 other kids, or they'll 'mean to tell (me)', but forget to put it on the list.

Addressing a few issues though:

1) Thank you, Kier for clearing that up. For those of you who don't read the actual forum, Zeke will be 20 next month. He's been living with us nearly 2 years now. He was raised in a cult, and he hadn't been off there 'farm' more than three times in his entire life. He finally ran away. Unfortunately, because he was very close to his 18th birthday, he was in a very bad situation with regards to being an abused child and receiving help from the foster care system, instead of being just an adult needing welfare. When he moved in with me, he had about a third grade education (better in some areas, worse in others). Because of those things, we held off on teaching him to drive, though he will be taking driver's ed this summer.

2) Y Lee - I think you live in a more urban area than I do. While we do have a convenience store only a few blocks away, it's several long blocks, crossing a couple of busy streets, to get to our nearest 'decent' store. In reality, all these boys are capable of doing that, as long as the weather isn't bad.

3) Y Lee (again) - You may be getting senile, but I'm trying to 15 other people. On the other hand, we do have a master space for 'extra products' (a downstairs closet next to where the linens go), and there is a list for things you run out of. If you want something particular, but don't write it down, you can use whatever Dad bought extra of this week, or go get it yourself (and out of your allowance).

On the other hand, there are certain things that are no problem. We all use Irish Springs and Speed Stick. I'm willing to buy something else, but you'd best remember to write it down. In the same way, I always stock Head and Shoulders and Herbal Essence and Gorilla Snot.

4) 18Smacked - as for the 'weekly basis', remember that I'm shopping for 16 people here. No one person goes through stuff like that (the fastest one is the downstairs bathroom that Zeke and the tweens share, which means 5 people a day going through there - they're not as picky about what they get, but they burn through it fast!

Anyway - this was mostly just a quickie idea. I thought it would be fun to see how people thought about organizing this kind of activity. This isn't something I punish for (as irritated as I sometimes get with 'you didn't get this'), but it seemed like something a bit different.

Oh - and my personal favorite? Someone whining that I didn't get what they'd asked for and they'd put it on the list!

"Did you look in your bathroom?"

"Oh. Okay, thanks."


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11 Re: 25 March 2017 - Your Wits End on Sat Mar 25, 2017 6:46 am

MemoryMan

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Sherrif
They've got legs, haven't they?

http://www.malespank.net/listAuthor.php?author=MemoryMan

12 Re: 25 March 2017 - Your Wits End on Sun Mar 26, 2017 5:56 am

squarecutter

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Sherrif
wonder if some kind of interractive list couldnt be put on the computer which could then be printed off before you do the shop

13 Re: 25 March 2017 - Your Wits End on Mon Mar 27, 2017 2:48 pm

Pi Beta

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RIP 9 Jan 47 - 17 June 17
I find it hard to believe that each was totally out of his favourite item. Would have expected some would still be left in the tube/bottle etc.

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