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BOTD 04-18-2017 Two Sons - A Beaver Production

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Skater

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Bransom Postmaster
Two Sons
A Beaver Production


You are a single father to two boys, Jake ( 9 ) and Cody ( 8 ). Your wife passed away due to cancer while the two were very little. Balancing work and being a parent to two rambunctious boys is quite a challenge. Luckily, you can often work from home. However, the two of them have to help in the household quite a bit for things to run smoothly, and you have assigned each of them daily chores that are printed on a chore chart. In addition, you found spankings to be a helpful tool to establish order in your household.

Jake - 9 & Cody - 8
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Today, Cody’s job is to unload the washing machine and put the laundry in to the dryer, while Jake has to load the dishwasher. In the afternoon, you remind Cody to not forget about his chore, and he promises that he will get to it immediately after he is finished with his video game.

While entering the kitchen to grab a drink, you notice that Jake hasn’t put the dirty plates and other items into the dishwasher yet. You pass by his room and remind him to do it before you are starting to make dinner. He replies angrily: “I won’t do it. I have better things to do. Do it yourself!”. You don’t have time to deal with his defiance right now, as you receive an important call from work.

Fast forward two hours, you are entering the kitchen to prepare dinner. You observe that Jake did put the dishes into the washer after all, which puts a smile on your face.

Tonight, you are making pasta with pesto. There are no pine nuts anymore for the pesto inside the kitchen, so you go downstairs to the pantry. You pass by the washing machine and notice that Cody forgot to unload it. You sigh, grab the necessary ingredients and head back to the kitchen. While you are pestling the ingredients for the pesto inside a mortar, you are contemplating what to do:

How do you deal with Cody, who promised to immediately take care of his chore but then didn’t follow through? And what about Jake, whose disrespectful attitude might warrant a spanking, but who eventually did what you had asked him to do?


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db105

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Trailboss
Well, I don't want to spank for a single instance of forgetting chores, so I'll use a three strikes system like Jack uses. Cody has used one strike.

Now that Jake has calmed down and has done his chores on his own, we will have a chat about what happened this afternoon. I'll tell him that I speak to him with respect, even when I'm not happy, and that I expect him to talk to me, and to everybody else, with respect too. If his attitude is good I'll leave it at that this time, although he'd better not repeat it in the next few days.

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Jack

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I have very firm reasons for using my three strike system, and it does (mostly) seem to work. However, direct disobedience is another case entirely.

I'm going to sit down with the boys, explain why we all have to work together, and explain that things like video games are privileges that are earned. They are not rights, and they can be taken away.

With boys this age, it works best if I can give them a stronger schedule to follow, so I'm going to have times listed, and if things aren't done by the right time - it's a strike. It might take a spanking or two, as well as some help and leniency on my part, but I think it'll work out soon enough.


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18Smacked

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Cowboy
There is a not insignificant problem with BOTDs and that is that we lack any background about the personalities involved, and how things get handles when problems occur. For example, does the Dad always "punish hard on a first offense, have rules been clearly established out front, in advance with all parties clear about expectations?

Here, we see Jake get at least two reminders about unloading the dish washing machine, and then finally,he does it even though he protested and said he wouldn't do it. Meanwhile, Cody had not done his job of unloading the washing machine and putting things in the dryer, though he agreed to do this straight away.

I think I would call a family meeting and specify how many warnings would be given before the heavy hand of a spanking takes place. I would make very sure all parties understood the rules and when things would be enforced, and how that would happen. Once that was done, I would follow through to the exact way all understood things were stated. I would also write out the rules so as top prevent any misunderstandings later on in time, and post them where they were able to be seen by all parties.

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Adric

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Cowboy
Skater wrote:Jake replies angrily: “I won’t do it. I have better things to do. Do it yourself!”. ... You pass by the washing machine and notice that Cody forgot to unload it.

That "I won't do it" sounds like direct disobedience to me (even though he thought better of it later and did it), while the fact that Cody "forgot" to unload the washer just indicates that his chore list didn't make a strong enough impression on him.

Jack wrote:I have very firm reasons for using my three strike system, and it does (mostly) seem to work.  However, direct disobedience is another case entirely.

So Cody gets one strike for forgetting / disregarding a chore.

On the other hand, Jake showed direct disobedience when he hadn't done it and said "I won't do it." To me that is "another case entirely." He gets a spanking and a serious warning to be careful what he says in the future.

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squarecutter

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Sherrif
I think a family meeting is in order. I will remind the boys that thins work best if we all play a part.and sadly life is not all about the fun stuff. I will tell them I was very disappointed by the attitudes struck seem to have gone from indifferent to downright mutinous and I wont have it in future. Both are on zero tolerance for chore tikk I see them being done and done quickly and without the attitude. End of lecture

David M. Katz

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Marshall
Time for a family meeting and some chore charts and a strike system.


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AFinch

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Sherrif
I'm with Jack and Daniel.

ivor

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Marshall
Add me to the list please Kier.

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MemoryMan

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Sherrif
I'm a bit concerned about Jake's attitude .  Was it a knee jerk response to the way I spoke to him? I really should have dealt with it on the spot

In our situation I see the way forward to be teamwork and co-operation rather than coercion and punishment.

The boys are now old enough to buy into this concept and it seems to be the right time for us to get together for an in depth discussion.

Spanking won't come off the table but I prefer to keep it as an option for misbehaviour rather than a tool of coercion.

( Twisted Evil Would they want to spank ME if I "forgot" to feed them one day?)

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Kat

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Editor Extraordinaire
I'll go along with the strike system. No one gets spanked today.

Kat

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