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19 April 2017-BOTD Extra: Back to BCA - Double or Worse?

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Jack

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Admin
The private school where some of your kids attend has a pretty strict discipline policy (one of the reasons they get many of their students).  It's a good school, and it's great at working with kids with (minor) special needs, and the administration are willing to make a lot of accommodations to make sure that the kids learn as best they can.  However, it's also a 'second chance' school for kids who need a fresh start for one reason or another, and so strict discipline is enforced.

Often their discipline policy requires the interaction of a parent or suitable substitute.  Because you often work out of your home and have a very flexible schedule, a number of your friends have asked that you be that 'suitable substitute'.

Today, you were called in for two of sixth grade boys whom you normally sub for: Aidan and Chas.


Chas and Aidan - both 12
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Today, these two boys and a few others were caught gambling, which is an express violation of school rules.  They were actually caught because a fight broke out.  You contacted the fathers of both boys, and both of them have asked you to handle the issue.  There are a couple of problems however.  You know that Aidan's father has no trouble with Aidan being punished for violation of school rules, but you also know that he doesn't consider gambling to be a sin or a moral failing.  On the other hand, Chas' father is much stricter about his son's school behavior, and he is against gambling.  The second problem is that Chas' father very much believes in the need to follow up corrections at school with corrections at home, unless he's sure the matter has been dealt with suitably - something he trust you to be honest about.

Each boy in the group is going to receive a base punishment of five swats with his pants (trousers) down, as well as one day in detention doing community service or writing lines.  The principal has already indicated that he has two paddles chosen - one for the three smaller boys and a separate one for the two larger boys (which includes Chas).  Chas expects the paddle will be applied to his bared bottom, and you're pretty sure his father would not only agree, but expect that.  

That leaves you with the problem of, is that enough to avoid Chas being chastised further at home.  Another boy you know - Dayton, who is the younger brother of one of your son's friends - is also going to be paddled bare, after his father spanks him, and he'll receive additional punishment as well, since he's one of the boys who was involved in the fight.  You don't know the other two boys.  One of them wasn't involved in the fight, and his mother hasn't said if he'll be receiving additional punishment or not.  The last one was involved in the fight, and will be receiving additional punishment, but you don't know if any of it will be because of the gambling.

Will you give Chas what you and he both see as the minimum?  Are you going to increase it?  If so, will it be something relatively mild, hoping he can avoid punishment at home, or will you make sure you've made an impression on him?  (Remember, you personally don't think gambling is wrong, so you're really not even sure what to say to him about it, much less how much punishment would be 'enough' for this.)


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AFinch

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Sherrif
I think the issue isn't whether I personally think gambling is wrong, but whether it's a violation of the school rules (disobedience). It is. I also think that as a kid, if I'm going to suffer a bare paddling at school anyway, I'd just as soon get it over with and not have another to stress about when I get home. I think it would be kinder to give Chas enough to avoid another session at home. If he's going to end up bared and crying anyway, once ought to be enough.

David M. Katz

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Marshall
AFinch wrote:I think the issue isn't whether I personally think gambling is wrong, but whether it's a violation of the school rules (disobedience).  It is. I also think that as a kid, if I'm going to suffer a bare paddling at school anyway, I'd just as soon get it over with and not have another to stress about when I get home.  I think it would be kinder to give Chas enough to avoid another session at home.  If he's going to end up bared and crying anyway, once ought to be enough.

Excellent analysis. I agree.


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db105

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Trailboss
I know that each student is punished separately, so it's not as important to punish all the same.

OK, Aidan's case is easy. He'll receive the base school punishment, which I guess it's the paddle on his underpants and a detention.

Chas will receive the paddling bare, since I know his father would expect that and approve. Ideally, when contacting his dad I would have asked him what punishment I should add, if any, but since that did not happen and he asked me to deal with it I will spank him before his paddling, like what's going to happen to Dayton but with no additional punishment since Chas was not involved in the fight. I'll tell his dad that in my opinion it was handled adequately and no further punishment is necessary.

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Jack

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db105 wrote: Ideally, when contacting his dad I would have asked him what punishment I should add, if any, but since that did not happen and he asked me to deal with it...

For the record, when I go into school on an issue like this (my kids, someone elses kids, private school, public school), I'm going in the boys defense. My first concern is to get all the facts. Consequences are set after that. To that end, it's quite possible that Chris didn't get all the facts, knowing that I'd be dealing with that.

However, it's a good point, and one I will discuss with him.


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jackson1


Wrangler
Slightly confused here Jack.

Were you and the other dads being called to the school to witness the paddlings being given pants down for the boys' behavior and it was up to each individual dad whether or not additional corporal punishment was administered by them at the school?

Jack

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Admin
jackson1 wrote:Slightly confused here Jack.

Were you and the other dads being called to the school to witness the paddlings being given pants down for the boys' behavior and it was up to each individual dad whether or not additional corporal punishment was administered by them at the school?

There was some discussion between the witnesses and Mr. P as to what would be appropriate, as well as talking to the boys about who had done exactly what. However, this is one of those issues where things are complicated because BCA is a general, non-denominational Christian school. If it were allied with one church or the other, there would be less confusion in questions of doctrine, which is where this falls.


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jackson1


Wrangler
Was it the Principal's opinion that additional corporal punishment by the boys' dads would be appropriate or did he not provide any input on this one way or the other?

Jack

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Admin
jackson1 wrote:Was it the Principal's opinion that additional corporal punishment by the boys' dads would be appropriate or did he not provide any input on this one way or the other?

He didn't provide input. After getting the facts, he made a decision as to what he thought was appropriate for breaking the school rules, and let the parents decide other issues.


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Kat

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Editor Extraordinaire
K Club -- I agree with Kier's analysis. I think Daniel's solution of a spanking ahead of the paddling is a good one to ensure there won't be further punishment. I also think a spanking first will make the bare bottom paddling easier for Chas to take.

Kat

Jack

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Admin
I did not forget to answer this.

I am writing it up as a full story. The trouble is that my time at the school this week has eaten into my writing time, as well as my nap time (which also ends up eating into my writing time).

Because of the editing process, I don't expect it to be up this week. Last time I did this, there were a ton of problems with the editing process. That means I can either post an unedited version - then make no changes until the edits are through - then post the edited version, or just wait until the edits are through. I've not decided which way to go yet.

Thanks for your patience.


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squarecutter

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Sherrif
Im not sure I can really take all home conditions into account. I think what happens at home isnt really in my control. However what I will say to the fathers is that as far as you are concerned you feel and will advise the fathers accordingly that 5 licks bare plus detentions etc closes the matter as far as school is concerned and as a firm hint you consider the penalty fully paid. It is unfortunate that some kids will receive unequal treatment at home but To try to compensate for that might undermine either school policy or the parents authority

Adric

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Cowboy
K Club.

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Jack

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Admin
I suppose I should say that this story has finally been completed, and you can find it now at A Gambling Problem.

Thanks for your patience.


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AFinch

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Sherrif
Great story. I have to say I felt sorry for all the boys. I think they all got more than they really deserved.

squarecutter

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Sherrif
Nice twist, putting Mr Tidwell on the spot at the end. I would say one good reason for keeping gambling out of school is the danger of fights breaking out and of one kid holding a debt

Kat

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Editor Extraordinaire
AFinch wrote:Great story.  I have to say I felt sorry for all the boys.  I think they all got more than they really deserved.

Yes, the punishments seemed pretty harsh. I was relieved for Chas that Jack too care of things. I also like that he put Chris Tidwell on the spot.

Kat

Adric

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Cowboy
Pitching quarters, pennies, whatever. I have no idea what that means. I do know that if I had been any of those boys and I had any idea of the painful consequences described in this story I wouldn't have considered it for a second.

I think that gambling is dangerous because it can become, like alcoholism, an addiction. I don't understand that because I don't have it, but I know it is true. If I had to write "lines" of reasons not to gamble, they would not come out of the Bible or any other scripture. They would come from the statistics that document the tragic costs of addictions to the affected individuals and to society.

The standard and well-known punishment for fighting at my school was five licks to each participant, with more if there were injuries or other extenuating circumstances. I never heard of anyone being punished for gambling, but then it was a public school, not a religious school.

As for Chris Tidwell, he got the treatment he deserved.  I have the impression that he is not a deep thinker.  I would be interested in knowing what he thinks of "investing in" the stock market.

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Journey


Greenhorn
I have to admit: I snickered at the end of this story. I know a lot of people like Mr. Tidwell, and I think it would do a lot of them some good to write about what they believe and why they believe in it. (I think it's generally a good practice for all of us, but then again, I'm a firm believer in the power of writing things down.) I'm glad he didn't ask Chas to copy what he wrote anymore.

I had to google what pitching pennies was. I'm not sure what I was imagining when you first mentioned gambling in this BOTD, but that definitely wasn't it. I might be missing something, but that game seems kind of harmless to me. I have a difficult time imagining any kid getting so caught up in the "thrill" of a game like this so as to plonk down his entire allowance towards its cause. (Of course, Wikipedia might be making the game sound way more boring than it actually is. And I suppose others may say slippery slopes, but I don't really know.)

Like Adric, I never heard of anyone getting punished for gambling. However, I went to a non-sectarian private school and not a religious school either.

If I had to write lines for reasons not to gamble, I wouldn't use Biblical verses either. I agree that the statistics or real-life anecdotes about the dangers of addiction come to the forefront more easily than any Biblical verse.

To be quite honest, I can't think of any Biblical verse that's directly against gambling, aside from verses that warn against materialism in general. And I've been teaching Sunday School for a number of years now. (Granted, gambling isn't a topic we cover very often in Sunday School.  Smile )

I liked this story a lot. I think I'm developing a major soft spot for the Tidwells. They seem like a sweet bunch.

Also, I loved the beginning scene wherein you discuss books with the kids. I make my students write down three topics they're interested in and like to read about, too, and the groans I get in reply are very much like the "Five?!?" you got.  Very Happy

I find Mike Lupica books to be fairly popular among the ones who like sports. We're tackling Harry Potter and Percy Jackson with the younger set now, which are always popular. I can only hope that To Kill a Mockingbird goes over half as well with the older set. :/

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