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BOTD 04-20-2017 A Special Gift - A Mahoover Production

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Skater

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A Special Gift
A mahoover Production

When you were a boy, your father used his fraternity paddle to spank your bare rear.  It was always very traumatic for you, and you often had bruises for several days.  Because of that, you have chosen not to use corporal punishment with your son Jake.   You have used groundings, extra chores, and docking of Jake's allowance in the past, and it has been effective and worked well.

Jake - 13
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One Friday, Jake brings you a paddle that he made in shop class at school.  He says that he really hates being grounded, and all of his friends are paddled.  He wants you to use paddling in the future instead of grounding.

The paddle Jake made.
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Do you agree to try paddling?  Do you tell Jake about your experiences and why you haven't used paddling previously?  Do you counter offer to use a different implement like a belt?


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Jack

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A fraternity paddle is barely appropriate for a grown adult who's accepting it more or less voluntarily. If Jake were a 17-year old linebacker, I'm not sure I'd use one on him.

I'm going to talk with him about my history, and why I've never used corporal punishment. I like to think that I'd find something more appropriate for a 13-year old, but if I were really the parent in this scenario, I'd probably just tell Jake that, if he hates being grounded, he should behave better.


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18Smacked

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I think Jack has it the way I see it here.

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Adric

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Skater wrote:Do you agree to try paddling?  Do you tell Jake about your experiences and why you haven't used paddling previously?  Do you counter offer to use a different implement like a belt?

Do I agree to try paddling?   YES!
Do I tell Jake about my experiences...?   NOT UNLESS THE SUBJECT COMES UP.
Do I offer him a belt or something else?   NOT THE FIRST TIME.

Think there is a lot of hidden content in a gift like this.  His friends all saw him making this gift in woodshop, and Jake knows that all of his friends are paddled.  That means they talk about such things and they may well have communicated to Jake in some subtle way (13 year olds subtle?  ha!) that they think his dad is a wuss.  I can imagine his shame when he has to admit to those friends someday that he is grounded because his dad (me) was afraid to paddle him.

So the next time he needs punishment he'll get a spanking with that oversized paddle he made for me, and then we'll talk.  He may have misjudged the severity of the paddle he made.  We may then decide to get a lighter paddle that stings more and bruises less, or we may decide to try a belt, or we may just decide that paddling was a lot worse than he thought it was and he wants to stick with grounding instead.

This also gives me a chance to size up exactly how he feels about his current discipline regimen.  Grounding may be much worse than it seems to me, and paddling with an appropriate implement (not a frat paddle) may be something he would greatly prefer.  I won't know until we try, and then we talk.

In any case I will tell him how proud I am of him and how brave I think he is to offer himself up for a paddling rather than grounding.

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AFinch

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Sherrif
I think Jack has covered it very well.

db105

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Trailboss
Yes, I would tell him about my experiences and why I have never used CP on him. If he is sure about this, we'll give his paddle a try when he misbehaves, though.

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David M. Katz

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Marshall
db105 wrote:Yes, I would tell him about my experiences and why I have never used CP on him. If he is sure about this, we'll give his paddle a try when he misbehaves, though.

I agree but I might offer him a test swat.

If we decide to stay with CP, I either need to learn to control that paddle or I need Jake to make something a tad lighter. I want some uncomfortable short term burn and sting, not lasting bruises.


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Kat

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I like Adric's assessment of the situation. I'll use the paddle school-style, over clothes, with a limited number of swats. I can easily adjust the force so that it doesn't cause bruising.

Kat

ivor

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Marshall
I consider I have firstly to explain my reasoning to Jake. But, if all his friends are paddled that probably does present problem for him, so we can give padding a try. I agree with Kat though in that if we are going to use that paddle it will be over clothes not bare.

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MemoryMan

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Sherrif
Adric wrote:
Do I agree to try paddling?   YES!
Do I tell Jake about my experiences...?   NOT UNLESS THE SUBJECT COMES UP.
Do I offer him a belt or something else?   NOT THE FIRST TIME.

Think there is a lot of hidden content in a gift like this.  His friends all saw him making this gift in woodshop, and Jake knows that all of his friends are paddled.  That means they talk about such things and they may well have communicated to Jake in some subtle way (13 year olds subtle?  ha!) that they think his dad is a wuss.  I can imagine his shame when he has to admit to those friends someday that he is grounded because his dad (me) was afraid to paddle him.

So the next time he needs punishment he'll get a spanking with that oversized paddle he made for me, and then we'll talk.  He may have misjudged the severity of the paddle he made.  We may then decide to get a lighter paddle that stings more and bruises less, or we may decide to try a belt, or we may just decide that paddling was a lot worse than he thought it was and he wants to stick with grounding instead.

This also gives me a chance to size up exactly how he feels about his current discipline regimen.  Grounding may be much worse than it seems to me, and paddling with an appropriate implement (not a frat paddle) may be something he would greatly prefer.  I won't know until we try, and then we talk.

In any case I will tell him how proud I am of him and how brave I think he is to offer himself up for a paddling rather than grounding.

There is likely to be more than meets the eye in this request and i.m.o. Adric's assessment is spot on.  The paragraph I have highlighted is particularly relevant and he appears to be sufficiently mature for such a talk to be productive beyond the simple issue of punishment methods, perhaps expanding to responsibility and behaviour in general.

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squarecutter

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Sherrif
I go with Kat. That paddle looks fairly thin if I'm a judge. It will be nothing like the paddlings the old man gave me.  I am guessing thers been a little peer pressure and I want to be sure the lad knows that he shouldnt feel the has to do this under that sort of pressure

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