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21 April 2017 - Phone Forgetfulness: an 18Smacked Production

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Jack

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Admin
Phone Forgetfulness
An 18Smacked Production


Last week you hand spanked your 13 year-old son, Weston, after he was over at the house of a neighborhood friend and ignored your repeated calls asking when he would be coming home. (He'd said "not too late" when he'd left at 7 PM but at 10 PM you had no idea when he would be home, and it was a school night).

Now, it is nine days later and he told you he was going to be home in 20 minutes. An hour and a half later, after you made 9 calls and texts to his phone that were ignored, you told him in no uncertain terms to "get home NOW!"

He comes home and tells you how sorry he was, but that he forgot about the text he sent saying he would be home in 30 minutes and he got invited to dinner and just forgot about his saying he was coming home.


Weston - 13
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What measures are called for here?


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Adric

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Cowboy
I like Kier's answer better so I'm going with it instead.



Last edited by Adric on Thu Apr 20, 2017 6:15 pm; edited 1 time in total

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AFinch

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Sherrif
I'm not going to spank him at all.

If he can't respond to calls/texts, then he really doesn't need to have a phone. So it's mine (for the next week). And since he won't have a means of communicating with me without it, for both our "peace of mind", he can come home after school and stay there, without guests or electronics. I think that will make more of an impression than ANY spanking no matter how deluxe.

Y Lee Coyote

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Deputy
Obviously the spanking was not effective so a different action is required.

Weston does want to behave like a responsible thirteen-year-old so his rules get changed.  He get strict new rules about where and when he may be and must ask for every change.  If he has troule follow this simple baby rule, then he may not go out (i.e., grounded).

If it is possible, I’ll turn on a tracker in his phone.

Y.

http://www.asstr.org/~YLeeCoyote/

ivor

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Marshall
On the basis that you knew where he was, why let the situation escalate to this point? When you can't get an answer from him why not call the house where he is and ask to speak to him?

That is what used to happen in the days before mobile phones, but now it seems they are considered to be the only means of communication.


(Luddite rant over Very Happy )

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MemoryMan

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Sherrif
I'm more or less in line with Kier.  I'll take his phone for an indefinite period during which he'll have to come straight home from school.

When he goes out I'll need to know where he's going and when when he'll be back.  This time limit will become a strictly enforced curfew and I'll be using more than hand if it's violated.

When he gets his phone back I'll make it perfectly clear that he's on probation.

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Jack

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Admin
I'm seeing four separate issues here:

1) Not being home when he said he would.

2) That is a repeat behavior.

3) You don't just randomly decide to 'eat at a friend's house'. Dinner is planned, and you need permission to miss it (out of good manners and respect for the cook if nothing else).

4) Not answering his phone (repeatedly in different situations).

I can't believe that I let him off with 'only' a hand spanking for that last offense, and he should have considered himself lucky that he dodged a bullet. In this case, because of 1 and 3, he'll be receiving a deluxe session over may lap (either with the Tailblazer or Red, depending on his size). Because of 4, he'll be losing his phone for a few days. Because of 2, he'll be staying home for a week or so.

Mind you - I'm answering this as if Weston was one of my kids. If he's an only child I might shorten the days he's not leaving the house, or at least let someone visit him... Or maybe ground him a few days completely, then let him have visitors, but not go visiting?

ivor wrote:On the basis that you knew where he was, why let the situation escalate to this point? When you can't get an answer from him why not call the house where he is and ask to speak to him?

That is what used to happen in the days before mobile phones, but now it seems they are considered to be the only means of communication.


(Luddite rant over Very Happy )

Even when I was a kid, my mom didn't always know who's house I was at, or have a phone number for all my friends. At this point, I know the numbers of most of my kids' friends, but more because their parents are often either my friends, or we're involved in stuff together. Even then, there are sometimes that I still don't automatically think to call them on their phone, much less trying to reach them at another number. I don't know about everyone else, but there are times that my brain just gets stuck in a rut of expectations.


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squarecutter

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Sherrif
Ivor has a good point.

I might suggest to Weston that I check with his friends Mom  what time he was invited to dinner and check it against the time of his last attempted get out text. If he's lying as well he's getting it but good and getting grounded for a week as well. Even if not lying theres still the question of how many text /calls were made before and after his reply and why he totally ignored them.  I think he comes straight home after school and will not be going out again the rest of the week and he can go to bed early those nights as well. If he wants to be treated like a big boy he can learn some responsibility

Bunk, just re read. He should have realised he needed to sen another text after that number of messages came in after hed been invited to inner. He ignored me, Hes toast

Kat

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Editor Extraordinaire
I'm going with Kier's answer.

I think Ivor has a point, but now it's not uncommon for a lot of homes to have no landline. I think I'll collect numbers for all Weston's usual haunts, though, and tell him if he doesn't want me to embarrass him with calls to his friends' parents, he'd better use his own phone for its intended purpose.

Kat

18Smacked

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Cowboy
squarecutter wrote:
Bunk, just re read. He should have realised he needed to sen another text after that number of messages came in after hed been invited to inner. He ignored me, Hes toast

So- not very well explained, but the scenario stated after an hour and a half, "I told him to get home NOW!" It was in that hour and a half interim that he had dinner at his friend's house and finally checked his phone (which he had left upstairs on his friend's bed when he went downstairs to eat and after eating, watch TV.)

Rather than texting any more once he saw all my unanswered texts/calls, he called me and I told him to get home, which is what he did.

http://www.malespank.net/listAuthor.php?author=18Smacked

Y Lee Coyote

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Deputy
18Smacked wrote:which he had left upstairs on his friend's bed when he went downstairs to eat and ...

Well, that's one thing in his favor -- not taking the phone to dinner.

But shouldn't have his friend's mom explicitly asked if he had permission to stay for dinner?  I thought that was standard.

Y.

http://www.asstr.org/~YLeeCoyote/

18Smacked

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Cowboy
Y Lee Coyote wrote:
18Smacked wrote:which he had left upstairs on his friend's bed when he went downstairs to eat and ...

Well, that's one thing in his favor -- not taking the phone to dinner.

But shouldn't have his friend's mom explicitly asked if he had permission to stay for dinner?  I thought that was standard.

Y.

IDK if that is standard these days. I can say that it would not be something I would feel obligated to ask a friend of my kid who was invited to dinner. I imagine I might ask if his folks are aware of where he is at.

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Jack

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Admin
18Smacked wrote:
Y Lee Coyote wrote:
18Smacked wrote:which he had left upstairs on his friend's bed when he went downstairs to eat and ...

Well, that's one thing in his favor -- not taking the phone to dinner.

But shouldn't have his friend's mom explicitly asked if he had permission to stay for dinner?  I thought that was standard.

Y.

IDK if that is standard these days. I can say that it would not be something I would feel obligated to ask a friend of my kid who was invited to dinner. I imagine I might ask if his folks are aware of where he is at.

This is something I always do, if it's an unplanned guest - at least with the tweens and younger. The reason is that the kid might want a reason to stay longer, or might just prefer what we're preparing for dinner. Most parents are pretty understanding, but I've had trouble before with a kid assuring me something was okay, so it just seems easier now to double check.


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