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BOTD 5/7/17 "Super Brat" A Memory Man Production

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David M. Katz

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Marshall
Many, many, moons ago well before I became a first stage granddad, spanking was, in many families, the go-to option for dealing with unruly kids.  A growing anti spanking lobby was also mounting sporadic crusades with magazine articles and various parenting paper back books being published, many apparently written by ladies who'd graduated with two degrees and minimal experience of life outside the classroom and lecture theatre.  I was prone to flick through some of these publications more for entertainment than education to find a few contained sound advice, others were simply risible, all were forgettable.

Strangely though one scenario I spotted was so naive that it has stayed with me through the years.  It went something like this "If Johnny throws little Mary's favourite doll out of the window don't scold or punish him, sit him down and explain how distressing this is for poor Mary.  Then send him out to collect and return it."  

That was it; there was no advice what to do if Johnny responded with a childlike equivalent of "get stuffed."  A problem that seemingly would not occur in the writer's world but one that I'm sure our more worldly Bransom parents would be able to resolve.

-MM



SUPER BRAT
A Memory Man Production

You have two children, two and a half year old Mary and six year old Johnny.  You love them both but have to admit that you don't particularly like Johnny; a truculent kid who, if when doesn't get his own way, is likely to either fly into a rage or sink into a prolonged sulk.  He has never been spanked because your wife is a firm devotee of the "modern" anti spanking theories.  You are not at all convinced by them but since she is a stay at home housewife doing 90+%  of the child rearing whilst you work long hours to put bread on the table also you have no appetite to become a "wait 'till your father gets home" ogre you reluctantly go along with her views.

Today she is away on a WI trip and you are holding the fort when there is a commotion and on investigation you find that Johnny has thrown Mary's favourite doll out of the window.  You try to talk to Johnny who clearly is not in listening mode, he refuses to look at you or answer you, he just keeps shaking his head.  Giving up on reasoning you pick him up and plonk him on the naughty step with instructions to remain there until he decides to return the doll.  He refuses to stay in place.  You re-plonk him several times before, exasperated, you carry him up to his room and dump him on his bed telling he has to stay in his room alone, missing tea and supper if necessary until he's returned the doll to Mary.


JOHNNY - 6
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Then you go down to console Mary who, by now is beyond distraught.  "Poor Betsy is all alone out there and a doggy might wee on him" she wails. You are on the verge of going out to retrieve the damned doll yourself (Yes, you are feeling pretty stressed out) when you hear footsteps on the stairs and the back door opening.  You breathe a sigh of relief but after waiting a minute or so you look out of the window, only to see Johnny kicking Betsy all round the lawn.

Help Bransom HELP


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David M. Katz

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Marshall
I'm sending Johnny to Texas to live with his Uncle Jack for a while. Twisted Evil


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Adric

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Cowboy
Dave certainly has the right idea, but in reality this situation has gone well beyond the point where it should have been taken care of - with a spanking. He really, really needs a spanking, and I have to do it, in spite of the conflict that will result when mother comes home. As much as I don't want to assume a new job in the household, it can't be avoided if this is going to be the result.

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Jack

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Admin
First of all, I can't really answer this scenario, since this person's beliefs would have prevented me from every marrying her (or at least ever having kids with her).

Having said that, a spanking is not going to solve this.

I am going to go out, get Betsy, and return it to Mary.

I will then tell Johnny that, since he doesn't respect his sister's toys, I'm not going to respect his. I am taking all his toys, and he will not get them back until I see some corrections in his behavior towards his sister. I will also keep a close eye on him to make sure he doesn't strike out against her or her belongings. Considering that he's only six, I won't keep the toys too long, and might be willing to return one to him this evening.

When the Mrs. gets home, she and I are sitting down and having a serious discussion. We can continue to try being a non-spanking family, but we are NOT going to be a non-discipline family, and she needs to get her act together.


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"In the end, it's just a story. But if you ask me, it's all true."
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handmade straps

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Wrangler
Since his Mom isn't there to stop it. Shorts and underwear is coming off, and I'm going to tan his little hide good and proper, and if he doesn't shape up. Then I will do it again. Mom can bitch all she wants when she gets home, because I can't put up with her BS any longer since it obviously isn't working.

StevieWeeks

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Trailboss
I shall apprentice him to a chimney sweep as a climbing boy...

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That'll teach him a sharp lesson or two...

Kat

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Editor Extraordinaire
No matter how much I want to push the blame for Johnny's bad behavior off on the wife and permissive parenting techniques, I'm responsible too. It's rubbish to insist that the only effective discipline system is spanking. If the system we are using isn't working, we're screwing it up. Most people don't have a system at all -- just a bunch of arbitrary and inconsistent responses that leave a child confused. I have a strong suspicion that inconsistency is the problem here. Believe me, I've seen plenty of parents who are spankers whose children are every bit as undisciplined as Johnny.

Now, it's possible Johnny has some sort of emotional or personality disorder. This anger of his is coming from somewhere. Before telling Johnny anything, I should be asking him why he threw the doll out the window.

Things didn't get to this state in a day, and they won't be fixed in a day either. One thing is certain, however: if I unilaterally and without any warning decide to vent my own frustration by spanking Johnny, I will leave him even more confused and angry than he already is. I may gain short term compliance; however, judging from the description of Johnny's behavior, I'll probably only create a violent and escalating scene.

For now, all I can do is rescue Mary's doll. It's clear my spouse and I need to sit down and figure out what we are doing wrong and correct it.

Kat

ivor

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Marshall
I can't better Kat's answer.

Little Johnny evidently has problems that need to be resolved before he gets much older. If they aren't, in a few years time it will be Mary he is throwing out of the window affraid

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db105

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Trailboss
This is the only true Super Brat!

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I'll submit a BOTD with him and Robin.

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ivor

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Marshall
And there was I thinking I was about to unveil Christiano Ronaldo! Laughing

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MemoryMan

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Sherrif
A few thoughtful responses. Perhaps I should have bought the book for a few more unworldly situations Smile

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squarecutter

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Sherrif
Seems we hav angry child with m me me syndrome. He is still acting/being treated as a toddler Jonny is going to be chewed out good and proper. How doe he react to paternal disappointment in his behaviour. He will now go to to his room till meal time and got to bed straight after. His room as Jack suggest will be cleared of books and toys and the there will be no tv tomorrow. As he is being put to bed I will try for the whats all this about chat as Kat suggests. May be counselling/anger management if their really is something putting him out.

First the metaphoical stick then some carrot

My wife and I will have no doubt one of many heart to hearts about whether her approach is really working. I imagine he's tto young for military school!

Mary will be getting a new doll

Jack

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Admin
MemoryMan wrote:A few thoughtful responses.  Perhaps I should have bought the book for a few more unworldly situations Smile

This is not really a BOTD scenario, but I saw it in a similar book.

It told a story of a mother who asked her son to sit down in the car (I think this was the 80s, so years before car seats for anyone but infants) and put on his seat belt. I don't remember how long she waited, but she finally told him 'if you don't sit down and put on your seat belt, I'm going to spank your butt.'

The boy sat down and put on his seat belt, then crossed his arms over his chest and sulked a minute before saying, "I might be sitting down on the outside, but I'm standing up on the inside."

The author used that to prove how spanking doesn't really work. To me, it proved just the opposite. If a kid actually said that to me, I would have replied, "That's okay, because standing up on the inside won't get you killed if we're in a wreck."


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db105

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Trailboss
Jack wrote:"That's okay, because standing up on the inside won't get you killed if we're in a wreck."

Laughing Aw, always so practical!

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kalico

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Sherrif
I'm with jack and will be taking all his toys away and then like jack me and the significant other need to sit down and rework how discipline is going to go....



Hugs kal

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