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Marcia Kincaid (and sons)(... and brother)

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1 Marcia Kincaid (and sons)(... and brother) on Sun May 21, 2017 11:32 am

Jack

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I've promised this for over a month now (as Leti occasionally reminds me), so I should go ahead and get it done.

I have mentioned some of this before, in chat, and possibly in the forum.  The information I had at that time was incomplete, but I think I have most of the details down now.

Marcia Kincaid is currently Marcus' lady friend (Yes, Marcus and Marcia - they wince at it a bit, but just blame their parents for not seeing this coming).  Marcia and her family came for Easter, Marcus brought them for brunch on Mother's Day, went with us to see Guardians of the Galaxy vol 2, and went with Chris and/or Jason and took my littles too see Spark (some animated movie that was in theaters for about a week).  

Marcia is in her thirties - I think she's five years older than Marcus (who turns 27 tomorrow).  She has three and a half kids.

Her sons are Kline (10), Glenn (Scott) (9) and Paden (6).  I may originally have said she had four sons, because she spends a lot of time with her brother, Emmet (13) (she and her mom were both huge Silverado fans, if the names were tickling your memory for some reason).  Her mom was pretty old when Emmet was born, and she isn't in the best of health, so he is at her house a lot.

Fun story: Marcus was covering a fourth grade class - talking about  P.E. and sports.  He allowed the boys to take a break, use the bathroom, and get a drink.  Apparently Kline and another boy had gotten excited by the discussion, were playing basketball with a wad of toilet paper, one tried to block the other when a shot was made, and a bit of wrestling ensued, bringing Marcus and another teacher into the hall.  Since the two boys had fallen over, and the other teacher had seen part of it, there wasn't much question whom was guilty of what.  After the other boys were back in the classroom, Kline and his PIC (partner in crime) each got a couple of swats, and life went on.

When Kline's mom picked the boys up that afternoon, the first thing that happened when he got in the car was that Kline was promised a real spanking as soon as they got home.

Kline is one of those very energetic, not quite ADHD boys, and that's one of the reasons he's at BCA.  The thing is, even keeping that in mind, he's been having trouble with behaving in class, and he'd been paddled a couple of times for disruptive behavior.  Marcia was supposed to be called in next time it happened, which Marcus didn't know.

Of course, Marcus had filled out and turned in the proper paperwork, and an e-mail had been sent to Maria.

Equally of course, a very panicked Kline swore to his mom that it wasn't the regular teacher and he hadn't been disrupting class.  

Equally, equally of course, most parents are going to be doubtful of protestations like that, so she ended up leading all four of the boys back into the school.  Marcus was tracked down, everything was hashed out, and Kline avoided a his bare bottom and the spoon becoming reacquainted.  

And not only did that discussion take place, but it came out that the boys had gotten in trouble playing at basketball in the hall, that Marcus was a coach and history teacher, played college football (QB), and that he loved sports.  Marcia is also a big sports fan and plays when she has a chance.  The two apparently talked 15 or 20 minutes that first time.  She came back a couple of days later, and they ended up having a date.

I want to say that was in January.




The reason I decided to write this account this morning is that I had the kids last night, including Emmet.  Marcus and Marcia wanted a night out last night for Marcus' birthday, and they dropped the kids off with me.  Since I already had all the littles (C&C, Rhett and Ryder, Ollie and Andy, and Adam), getting  Glenn and Paden wasn't a problem.  Kline feels a bit isolated here, but my tweens normally let him hang around, and Emmett gets along with them well.

My first thought when I usually look at Emmet is that he needs a style consultant.  He has a high forehead, but wears his hair short and... not spiked, exactly, but standing uppish.  He also loves black, but his skin is more fair than mine, so it makes him look washed out.  Overall, though he's a healthy and active boy, he looks sickly.

So, Marcus dropped the boys off last night, while Marcia was getting ready.  After the little guys dispersed to find their friends, Marcus brought Emmet in to talk to me.  It seems like Marcus and Marcia have been spending a lot of time together, and that means Emmet (who doesn't attend BCA) has been spending a lot of time with Marcus as well. The two of them are having some problems (nothing major - just friction and an occasional spark), so Marcus suggested to Emmet that I might want to talk to him.  He started off telling Emmet about how he'd come to live with me, and he included the fact that I'd torn his butt up his first day officially staying here (that whole story can be found at Marcus Moves In).

Em is interested in comics and he does read.  We talked about the reading classes I did recently. and what he likes to read and watch.  Then he started asking me about my kids getting spanking.  You can usually get some idea of why a kid is asking about that, and there didn't seem to be any prurient interest.  While I wouldn't give him any specific details, I did talk about it in general, and he knew some from talking to the boys.

It turns out that Marcia does spank, and she does spank Emmet as well as her own boys.  All of them are spanked bare.  While Paden only gets the plastic flyswatter (and if you weren't spanked with one when you were little, I promise you that those things sting like the devil).  Glenn and Kline both get the wooden spoon.  Emmet gets brushed.  I asked Emmett how he feels about that but it doesn't bother him much worse than any spanking would.  He has to get the brush and drop his jeans, but she lets him keep his boxers on until he's over her lap, and he pulls them up when he gets up.  

Now, since they've been dating, Marcus has spent a lot of time around her and her kids, and he has spanked them (not just at school).  Like from his mom, Paden gets the flyswatter.  Kline and Glenn have both been hand spanked, but Emmett got the belt.  It was just on his boxers, but he really hated it, and I think that's part of the problem he and Marcus have.  

I've had to delete and re-write this next part several time.  Instead of trying to go into everything, I'm just going to say that many people never really understand all the reasons why they do things, or why they feel the way they do.  Even at 52, I still find myself having to stop and think about why I'm reacting (or over-reacting) to something.  So when a kid acts in a certain way (a way that may or may not be unexpected), sometimes you have to make a few guesses.

Now, if Emmett just didn't like Marcus, it would be easy to understand.  The thing is, Emmett likes him.  We talked about things for a while.  While Emmett isn't a huge sports fan, he does play some, and Marcus spent some time helping him (and his nephews) practiced.  Emmett told me that he likes that Marcus does things with all of them, and  Marcus had taken Em to a Rangers game one weekend.  I've seen boys jealous of their mom's (whatever's) boyfriends, and this doesn't seem the case.

So, I thought about other possibilities while Emmet and I talked in general.  After a while, I talked to him generally about how I spank, and I even got Colt (Colt is a few months younger, but slightly bigger).  I asked Colt and Kenny (who came uninvited) privately, if they minded talking some specifics with Emmet.  They didn't.  The four of us sat down, and I described to Emmet how I spank.  I told him that, if he were my kid, I'd take his pants and shorts off while lecturing him, have him fetch the paddle, then putting him over my lap and spending a while making an impression on him.

It didn't really bother him.  Once again, it's not that he was interested or excited, but he just looked at Kenny and Colt to make sure I was being honest, asked them a few questions, and was like 'yeah, okay.'  We showed him the Tailblazer, and pointed out that he (and Colt and Leif) are really too big/old for it, so I showed him Red instead.  We talked a bit more, and I asked him if he wanted to spend a fair amount of the summer with us.  He was really excited, so I promised to talk to his sister about it today.  Then I asked him what was going to happen if she says yes, and he gets in trouble.  He just kind of shrugged and made a gesture that showed he knew it'd be the same thing that happened to Kenny and Colt.  

Marcus is here now, visiting with the college boys.  Marcia is going to bring the kids over to join us in a bit.  I'm going to talk to Marcus and suggest that the belt is kind of scary and impersonal for Emmet, and he might do better paddling him.  At least, I think the two of them should talk about it.  And, when Marcia arrives, I'll have to talk to her about what her kids are doing this summer.


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kalico

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Sherrif
They sound like a very nice family and I hope your talk with Markus helps and he understands the problem.....

I hope the summer works out for them at your place they sound like cuties..... good luck!

Thanks for sharing jack


Hugs kal

LLALVA

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Trailboss
Thanks Jack

Marcia and her kids and brother seem nice. I love you

I hope Emmet and Marcus talk and agree about the belt.

Great that the kiddies will be with you during the summer.

Hugs

Leti

squarecutter

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Sherrif
Interesting Jack , since you your self are not keen on belts, that Marcus decided that was the implement for a teen boy

LLALVA

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Trailboss
cheers Happy birthday Marcus I love you cheers

kalico

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Sherrif
HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Markus....

Congratulations to him on the new girlfriend also ... she and her little family sound nice....happy he found her..



Hugs kal

Jack

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squarecutter wrote:Interesting Jack , since you your self are not keen  on belts, that Marcus decided that was the implement for a teen boy

I do not like belts, but I have used them a number of times I know I used one once with Steve when he was 16, I used one on Mikell a couple of times. I used one with my brother, Aaron. I used one on JD and one of his friends, and with... Well, Marcus wouldn't know about my other brothers. But I also used one with Marcus when he moved in.

I think a lot of it is that spanking to belt seems like a fairly normal transition with boys growing up. Taking someone over your lap is both intimate physically, but also somewhat childish. That's why I generally use a larger paddle and more school-like punishment with older boys. I can easily see why Marcus might have thought a belt more appropriate for a 13 year old.


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Jack

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Marcia came and talked to me about marriage Sunday afternoon. Well, about many things actually. She did want to know some about me raising Marcus, and she was interested in.... Marcus is over here a lot, and he apparently mentions me a fair amount (more 'my dad says...' than what I do day to day), so she wants to know about how I'd react to them getting married.

I was willing to discuss his history. After that, I assured her I had no current plans to adopt Emmett. Then I told her that I believe in family, and that if she marries Marcus, she and Emmett and her kids will be part of our family. I also assured her I was more than willing to sit down and establish limits with her, as long as she remembered that Grandpa has unlimited spoiling rights. Then I suggested that she talk to Terry to learn a few things about how to deal (cope) with me. I also suggested that, if she wanted my blessing, they'd need to have pre-marital counseling to get it. I suggested they talk to Chris and Terry about that as well.

I don't know if they're just flirting with the idea right now, of if this was their way of letting me know it's getting serious, but there it is for now.




Marcus and Emmett came in and had a talk with me (mostly supervising, not actually talking much) Sunday afternoon. The result is that, when Marcia took her kids home, Marcus, Emmett and I went out to the garage. I showed them my blanks. Thanks to research for Family Business and discussions with Kat, I was able to recommend a 3/8ths inch maple as their material (I think it's left over from when we redid the storage building in the far back).

Marcus isn't my shoppiest boy, so I demonstrated the jigsaw, then let them do the finishing. We did go through my box. Emmett thought the poem was goofy, and he didn't like any of the cartoons that I had available. After looking a bit, he ended up deciding the paddle should be painted red, with his initials in Old English Gothic (blackletter or textura) in black. I had to finish it up, but Marcus picked it up and is going to drop it off the next time he's over there, with a promise that it'll be used next time he needs it.




Funniest thing about this is that we had decided that all current teenagers (i.e. - Leif and Colt) should be upgraded to Red as their standard implement. Now they're mad that Emmett 'got' to make their own, so I have a woodworking date with each of them. Maybe I should be some teak?


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kalico

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Sherrif
Aw sounds like a very nice paddle and they got to work on it together... happy it all worked out with your help...

Lol... to the other boys and enjoy that!

Marriage already wow ... I guess when you know you know....


Hugs kal

10 Re: Marcia Kincaid (and sons)(... and brother) on Wed May 24, 2017 5:56 pm

Jack

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kalico wrote:Marriage already wow ... I guess when you know you know....

It has already been several months, Kal, and they're not talking about setting the date tomorrow, just in general.


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11 Re: Marcia Kincaid (and sons)(... and brother) on Thu May 25, 2017 6:51 am

handmade straps

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Wrangler
Have you worked how long your will have her boys during the summer?

12 Re: Marcia Kincaid (and sons)(... and brother) on Thu May 25, 2017 12:22 pm

Jack

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handmade straps wrote:Have you worked how long your will have her boys during the summer?

I'm not sure I understand the question. It will probably be a daily thing for most of the summer, but it depends on her work schedule and a number of other issues.


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13 Re: Marcia Kincaid (and sons)(... and brother) on Thu May 25, 2017 7:19 pm

handmade straps

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Wrangler
That's what I figured the answer would be thanks

14 Re: Marcia Kincaid (and sons)(... and brother) on Sat Jun 17, 2017 1:42 pm

Jack

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[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]


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15 Re: Marcia Kincaid (and sons)(... and brother) on Sat Jun 17, 2017 4:32 pm

David M. Katz

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Marshall
Congrats cheers


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16 Re: Marcia Kincaid (and sons)(... and brother) on Sat Jun 17, 2017 5:49 pm

AFinch

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Sherrif
Congratulations

17 Re: Marcia Kincaid (and sons)(... and brother) on Sat Jun 17, 2017 6:19 pm

Journey


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Congratulations! Smile How many of your boys are married, Jack? Is Marcus the fifth or the sixth? I can't quite recall if JD is married or not.

18 Re: Marcia Kincaid (and sons)(... and brother) on Sat Jun 17, 2017 9:04 pm

LLALVA

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Trailboss
cheers WOW Congratulations I love you Marcus and Marcia I love you ! cheers


cheers Congratulations Jack, you get a daughter in Law, and 3 or 4 Grandsons cheers

Journey: wrote:How many of your boys are married, Jack? Is Marcus the fifth or the sixth? I can't quite recall if JD is married or not.

Marcus will be the 5th married.

I love you

Leti



Last edited by LLALVA on Sun Jun 18, 2017 12:26 am; edited 1 time in total

19 Re: Marcia Kincaid (and sons)(... and brother) on Sun Jun 18, 2017 12:21 am

kalico

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Sherrif
Congratulations Jack on your new daughter in law and the new grands....

Congratulations to Marcus and Marcia



Hugs kal

20 Re: Marcia Kincaid (and sons)(... and brother) on Sun Jun 18, 2017 8:05 am

handmade straps

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Wrangler
Congratulations! Hopefully Emmet is happy about this as well.

21 Re: Marcia Kincaid (and sons)(... and brother) on Sun Jun 18, 2017 3:05 pm

Jack

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LLALVA wrote:
Journey: wrote:How many of your boys are married, Jack? Is Marcus the fifth or the sixth? I can't quite recall if JD is married or not.

Marcus will be the 5th married.

Leti is (as usual) correct.

Steve is married to Belle with two children: Griffin and Gwen.

Mikell is married to 'Nita with two children: Duncan and Moira.

Tommy is married to Donald. They've talked about fostering or adopting.

Chris is married to Terry with two children: Rhett and Ryder.

I also have one 'foster grandson - Adam.

I've been confusing the heck out of myself for a few days, because I kept saying I had nine grandchildren, when I finally realized I was counting my two younger grandnephews. Embarassed

handmade straps wrote:Congratulations! Hopefully Emmet is happy about this as well.

Emmet is very happy. He's just a little confused about how/where he fits in. We'll be talking to my lawyer about it Tuesday.

In the meantime, some people have said this seems really fast or kind of slow. If they're not just eloping, it was set pretty quick (only about 5 or 6 weeks notice). The thing is, Marcus has to start coaching about 14 August. They are hoping to have time to do stuff this summer, then have a honeymoon, then get moved, before he has to go back to work. However, they also want a family wedding. Marcia doesn't really have a big family, but she has a couple of aunts and a few cousins she'd like to invite.

Marcia and Marcus have already found a house they like. It happened really quick, and part of me wonders if they found the house and decided to get married afterwards.

It is a big house (compared to normal, not mine).

I've mentioned before that Marcia's mom is both older and not in very good health. Even with Emmet around, Marcia has to visit several times a week. the house they're looking at has 3 regular bedrooms upstairs and a bonus room (or a fourth bedroom), and two master bedrooms, plus a small area downstairs, where Marcia and Marcus can set up private areas (like for him to grade and stuff). There is some question about how they'll use the upstairs rooms, but they're already sharing rooms, so it won't be a huge deal. What they're hoping to do is have Marcia's mom sell her house and put that down on the new house, which will make their payments pretty small. That does open up other questions, but they're trying to work things out so everyone is happy and taken care of.

And that's about where we stand.


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22 Re: Marcia Kincaid (and sons)(... and brother) on Sun Jun 18, 2017 5:17 pm

kalico

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Sherrif
Good luck to them on the house and I hope it all works out for them....

I can see how they would like to get married like that and it is sensible and I'm happy for them and wish them luck that everything goes how they wish.



Hugs kal

23 Re: Marcia Kincaid (and sons)(... and brother) on Sat Jun 24, 2017 5:43 pm

Jack

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Admin
I started to do this in Emmet's section, but it probably more belongs here.

Marcia and Emmet's mom did decide to sale the house and they've filled out the forms. With that going on, I put up the money for them to buy that house, and they've made the initial offer. Now we have to wait to hear back (which probably won't take long), and then get to hoop jumping.


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24 Re: Marcia Kincaid (and sons)(... and brother) on Sat Jun 24, 2017 6:38 pm

AFinch

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Sherrif
That should be great for everyone. Congratulations.

25 Re: Marcia Kincaid (and sons)(... and brother) on Sat Jun 24, 2017 7:46 pm

kalico

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Sherrif
That's good news and I hope all goes smoothly.....congratulations





Hugs kal

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