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Rude Responses

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1 Rude Responses on Wed Jul 05, 2017 5:19 pm


As everyone here should know, we try to keep a friendly atmosphere at this site.

Remember, on the internet, people can't hear your tone and read your body language, so we all have to be more careful if/when we're joking about things that might be sensitive.

Because of those things, I'm asking that everyone be careful when commenting. Twice recently I have removed comments that I felt (backed by one or more of the moderators) were rude, insensitive, or even provocative. We want to encourage discussion, but some comments shut conversation down rather than encouraging it.

Keep in mind that all of us are here because we have an interest in an unusual, and not especially well-respected, area. While other people are discourteous and disrespectful of us, we should try to avoid that with each other.

Let's keep it positive and fun people. Remember that you don't have to reply to every post, and if there is someone's whose posts or scenarios always drive you crazy - maybe skip those.

Thanks for keeping this place friendly.


"In the end, it's just a story. But if you ask me, it's all true."

2 Re: Rude Responses on Wed Jul 05, 2017 7:18 pm


I certainly agree with this sentiment. It disturbs me when I discover that two of my friends are having an acrimonious confrontation in some thread and I could accidentally appear to take sides in their argument just by posting a comment. It discourages me from reading those topics where such confrontations might take place.

I will always try to be polite and respectful with my posts no matter how much I might disagree with another person. I may not always succeed but I will always try. I hope others will do the same.

3 Re: Rude Responses on Thu Jul 06, 2017 5:24 am


Adric wrote:I will always try to be polite and respectful with my posts no matter how much I might disagree with another person.  I may not always succeed but I will always try.  I hope others will do the same.

I think there's a major cause of this problem, and I hope there's a second.

The second, which I hope is true, is that some people seem to have trouble phrasing things. I know sometimes I get really mad at something, and I just have to walk away. After I've calmed down, I often realize that maybe there's another way to see the comment. Maybe I read it when I was in a mood to be offended, or maybe it's a difference in age/location/whatever.

I've had this happen to me, when I'd been discussing an issue with a friend (by e-mail), and he responded with a suggestion that wouldn't work, because it took all the benefits from the idea. I said, "No offense, but that's a ridiculous idea because...." He got really offended; not because I didn't like the idea, but because he was sensitive to the word 'ridiculous', and he went off on me like I'm told him he was ridiculous, not that the idea was.

Sometimes, no matter how careful we are or how innocuous we think we're being, people will still take offense because of their own histories and experiences.

On the other hand, I think some people make statements without really thinking about how they sound or how someone might take it.

I have to admit, I don't stop and think while I'm making a regular post. I sometimes get confused when someone doesn't spank a BOTD kid who I think deserves it, and I'm curious about why they didn't - did I consider something they didn't, or is this just a case of differing values. When I do ask about those things, I try not to be offensive or accusatory, but sometimes I maybe post without reading it twice or thinking it through.

I guess what I really think the problem is is that there's a difference between just saying what you'd do and actually interacting with other posters, and it's the second time when we really need to be careful.

Sorry - I kind of rambled here, but it's still early here.

"In the end, it's just a story. But if you ask me, it's all true."

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