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BOTD 7/16/17 "Arbitrary?" A DMK Production

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1 BOTD 7/16/17 "Arbitrary?" A DMK Production on Sat Jul 15, 2017 2:21 pm

David M. Katz

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Marshall
ARBITRARY?
A DMK Production

Your ten-year old son, Peter, has been asking for a tablet for months.  You finally decided to allow his request and you purchased a tablet for him.  (A positive of this is that it freed up your tablet that you had been allowing Peter to use on occasion.) When you presented Peter with the tablet you warned him that, under penalty of spanking, that he was not to take the tablet out of the house.

Two weeks later you happen to look outside and you see:


PETER - 10
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You go out and ask Peter why he is outside with his tablet.  Peter explains that he wanted to read a new book he downloaded and that it was nice outside so he wanted to read outside. Peter says he loves his tablet and would never do anything to damage it. He simply wanted to read outside on a nice day.

Were you too arbitrary in your prohibition or do you deliver the promised spanking?


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David M. Katz

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Marshall
I needed to post a tad early today. Please enjoy. Very Happy


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Adric

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Cowboy
David M. Katz wrote:When you presented Peter with the tablet you warned him that, under penalty of spanking, that he was not to take the tablet out of the house.
Well, he was warned - so spanking it is.

But I might think it over and decide a week or so later to relax the rule if Peter continues to demonstrate responsible care of his tablet while in the house.

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Jack

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Admin
I can see reasons that i wouldn't want a 10-year old boy to take something like a tablet outside. On the other hand, I can certainly understand Pete's point of view.

I am going to sit down with him, and we'll talk about following the rules, the consequences of breaking the rules, and what he should have done. I will also remind him that the rule was for his own good, and if something happens to the tablet because he left it outside, that doesn't mean he'll be getting a new one. At that point, I think i will give him the promised spanking... or maybe a smack and some tickles.


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Peter_Z

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Wrangler
I see how concentrated he is in his reading.
So I would allow him to cary on.

So in this case no spanking.
He knows already that I am serous with spankings.

Y Lee Coyote

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Deputy
For  years our language has been sloppy and we blurred the distinction between the homestead (inside our surrounding fence) and structure (the actual house including the porch).

I suspect that ‘outside’ means ‘off the property’ to the boy.  The yard is just another room where we rest, play, cook and eat.  And, most importantly, allowed to go without it being considered ‘outside’.

I’m delighted that he is reading rather than playing games.  Definitely no spanking.  Probably a discussion with more precision about allowed locations and why the restrictions.

Y.

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18Smacked

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Cowboy
I like Jack's approach on this one.

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kalico

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Sherrif
Hmmm I posted right after jack but something happened.... but I agree with jacks approach of the situation.....



Hugs kal

Kat

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Editor Extraordinaire
I think I was arbitrary. We'll refine the rules. No spanking.

Kat

10 Re: BOTD 7/16/17 "Arbitrary?" A DMK Production on Sat Jul 15, 2017 9:25 pm

StevieWeeks

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Trailboss
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11 Re: BOTD 7/16/17 "Arbitrary?" A DMK Production on Sun Jul 16, 2017 3:02 am

ivor

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Marshall
If he is within the property boundaries then I don't see it as a major problem. He may be in technical breach of what I said, but in many ways it is better he is outside and reading than inside and doing so.

I'll just warn him that by taking it into the garden he is increasing the risks for it to be damaged.

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12 Re: BOTD 7/16/17 "Arbitrary?" A DMK Production on Sun Jul 16, 2017 4:11 am

Plagosus


Cowboy
Sure none of you are defence lawyers?

13 Re: BOTD 7/16/17 "Arbitrary?" A DMK Production on Sun Jul 16, 2017 4:56 am

ivor

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Marshall
Plagosus wrote:Sure none of you are defence lawyers?

Only insofar as I usually believe in sitting on de fence Smile

Laughing

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14 Re: BOTD 7/16/17 "Arbitrary?" A DMK Production on Sun Jul 16, 2017 11:26 am

Plagosus


Cowboy
The case for the defence:

“I submit that in this case “house” is synonymous with “property” and means more than just the dwellinghouse; it must be deemed to include all outhouses appurtenant to the dwellinghouse together with the curtilage thereof and all hedges, ditches, fences, ways, waters, water-courses, liberties, privileges, easements, rights, and advantages whatsoever, appertaining or reputed to appertain to the property.”

15 Re: BOTD 7/16/17 "Arbitrary?" A DMK Production on Sun Jul 16, 2017 11:34 am

ivor

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Marshall
I'm sure Icono would have agreed with you Plagosus.

However, I note that Peter is not trying that argument. Probably realising that the prosecuting attorney is also the judge......

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16 Re: BOTD 7/16/17 "Arbitrary?" A DMK Production on Sun Jul 16, 2017 11:38 am

Kat

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Editor Extraordinaire
ivor wrote:I'm sure Icono would have agreed with you Plagosus.

However, I note that Peter is not trying that argument. Probably realising that the prosecuting attorney is also the judge......

This is why it's much better to exercise the right to silence and let one's lawyer do the talking. However, a system in which the prosecution and the judge are the same is in iniquitous. Surely children should at least have the right to an independent tribunal. Very Happy

Kat

17 Re: BOTD 7/16/17 "Arbitrary?" A DMK Production on Sun Jul 16, 2017 11:50 am

db105

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Trailboss
I can't see myself spanking for this. I'm just a little bit upset that he technically disobeyed and did not even bother to ask me for permission, which I would have granted. I'll go with Jack's answer, with a smack and tickles instead of a real spanking.

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18 Re: BOTD 7/16/17 "Arbitrary?" A DMK Production on Tue Jul 18, 2017 11:30 am

Zyngaru

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Kid
If Pete stayed within the environs of the house. then in my judgement he stayed in the house or at least at it. I can totally understand why he would want to read outside, not be cooped up inside the house on a beautiful day.

Now if he was down the street, that is totally different. He can read in the backyard under a tree, just as easy as down the street around the corner across the street in the park.

So It will depend on how far Pete wandered away to read?

I know my Nephew took his son's tablet away from him for all summer, just for using it out on the front porch, when he was told not to take it outside. I thought that was extreme and since this scenario is so close to his real life experience, I say let the boy read outside in his yard, just no further away.

19 Re: BOTD 7/16/17 "Arbitrary?" A DMK Production on Wed Jul 19, 2017 4:22 pm

David M. Katz

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Marshall
I will sit with him and pull him over my lap for more tickles than spanks.

We will amend the rule: "Ask me before taking the tablet out of the house."


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20 Re: BOTD 7/16/17 "Arbitrary?" A DMK Production on Sat Jul 22, 2017 10:59 am

MemoryMan

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Sherrif
"But Dad! I used to read outside on YOUR tablet and you never said anything.

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Plagosus


Cowboy
Despite my observations above, I think that "not to take the tablet out of the house" is pretty clear to a ten year old. As a generaI principle I think that if you say to a boy: "If you do x then the consequence is y" then if the boy does x then y must follow. Taking a new tablet outside when told not to is not trivial. So, if y is a spanking then a spanking it should be.


A failure to follow up clear threats undermines discipline. The younger the child the more it needs to know where it stands. It is though not necessary to be a strict disciplinarian to be authoritative. A bit of uncertainty is good. You can let a boy off now and again with a nod and a wink or a "don't tell your mother" or "I believe you but thousands wouldn't". He needs to know you were not fooled by unconvincing excuses.

Jack

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Admin
Two observations:

First, I generally agree with Plagosus - rules are there for a reason, and it's important to be consistent in their enforcement. In this case, the name of the scenario makes it sound like this was more something I tossed out than that I really had thought about. If that's the case, we come to the flipside, is that it's important for parents to be fair, even if the rest of the world isn't.

The second is that I disagree with the people starting with Y Lee, saying that this rule wasn't clear. That might be because of personal or regional usage, but he was told not to take the tablet out of the house. I have NEVER heard anyone refer to the yard as 'the house'. If I had said 'home', it might be a different situation. On the other hand, if I had been inclined to spank, and Pete said, "But I'm still home, Dad!", then I would probably clarify what I met and let it go as a misunderstanding.


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